Spare Moments.

Lake County Press, Issue 2392, 7 September 1911, Page 7

Spare Moments.

IMMATERIAL. Miss Spriggins — 1 And what do you consider the best age for a man ?’ Miss Higgins—‘ Oh, any, as long as he is a bachelor.’ as AFTER THE SQUABBLE. 1 Como, dear, kiss my cheek and make it up,’ she said forgivingly. ‘l’ll kiss it,’ ho answered; ‘ but 1 don’t think it wants any more making up !’ THE EVOLUTION OF A COLONY. April l. —Gold discovered in Quasheelaud. April 2. —Armed force sent to repel native aggression. April A— Rout of natives with terrific slaughter; flight of King Banjubonos.

April-I.—Surrender of Baujoboucs. April 5 —Annexation of Qaadieolaud (in interests of native.'} by Royal proclamation.

April 0. — Capital oi C iaslieelaud found to contain numeroiH British population and flourishing British institutions, including a distillery, a bishop, and a barmaid. April 7. —Forced labour of emancipated natives sanct ;oned by law, and Quasuoelund Concession Chartered Company’s shares go to a premium. [InC rval of some months elapses.] Ex -King B.injobones visits Loudon, and is known as the Lion of West Kensington.

As to further career of Q O C.C., well There is nothing like knowing when you vo said enough. —Lika Joko.

A GHOST STORY. The Tramp stood before the Woman in the kitchen door. ‘ VVbat do you want?' asked the Woman ‘ln at work,’ answered the Tramp. At that moment bo felt a heavy baud on bis shoulder, and turning around bo saw an appirition almost touching him. It was good, honest, permanent, hard Work. 'The Tramp fell up against the house in fear. 1 Who are you ?’ lie gasped in a shiver. < I am Work,’ said the apparition, extending its hand towards him. The Tramp pulled himself tog d her. 1 1 don’t know you,’ be said; ‘and you

never got tint das > to me before.’ 'i’heii, with nr. cm rgy greater than M ork posse-ed, he m ale a will rush for the street ami e--. ap J. INI) F, FINITELY IN S TAN* I’AK EDITS. Tie l young man dropped same white paw - der into a glass lillel with water and swallowed it.. ‘ What’s that f itepiired the boss, 1 I’ve got a headache, an I that is ‘instantaneous headache cure’ lin taxing.’ 1 Wh it’s the dose D < A tea-poonful in a glass of water every twenty minutes until relieved.’ ■ Ah ‘ That’s what ; and I’ve h.-eu taking it since early thL morning.’ FEMININE CHARITY. They never were very ifoo I Hcmls, an 1 now they don’t ,-p at at ail. tiny m ••• the other morning on th i -Lv •>. > | saw (Jliarii • I about lit en minutes ago.’ -ai l on • Wh-re i louiiv I ihe other. ‘ Down st reel.* ‘ i > d you sp ak to him ?' ‘ Oal y ho wed. ’

1 ! 1 nr Wits he looking (' ‘ Very well, iu Iced • Is tiint s i E ‘ Of eour-e.’ ‘I shouldn’t have thought so.’ 1 Why not E ‘ 1!" a-ked me to m nay him 1 ist night .and I refu-ed.’ ‘ ( iraeious, (hj it ’s tli > very reason he shout 1 he looking well, 1 should think ’ WOMAN’S LID. VI LED E. ‘ Beg pardon, ma’am,’ 'said the inspector, ‘ there seems to be some mistake here—either

yon have already void or some one has vote-1 on your name.' Oil, that was mo,’ said Iho votve-s. ‘ I voted i-arly this morning, but L have changed my mind and want to vote the other way now.’

JUST THU THING. ‘ What shall I do 1’ she moaned, 1 I have broken my bicycle.’ ‘ Let mo see the wreck,’ said her mother. ‘Why, those who Is are very light, indeed.’ ‘ Yes, tho lightest manufactured.’ 1 Well, there is no need of wasting them I’ll lake them down town and have some trimming put on them. They will make lovely hats for you and your sister to wear to the theatre.’

The tax on tho mutual betting on tno French courses lias already this year produced 10,000,000 francs. This money has to

be divided among charitable institutions. Now fork capitalists propose to build a platform out in tho Atlantic Ocean beyond the marine league lino, whore pugilists may do their lighting without interference. The Hook of J* .b, written about I.VJO 8.C., closetibos very accurately several processes of smeltinu metals. Tho term ‘idiot’ is from tho ‘ i Jiota ’ by which tho ancient Greeks designate 1 the class that could not vote. It’s quire dIl m - en t now.