SPAUCING UP THE PATER.

Lake County Press, Issue 2159, 7 March 1907, Page 7

SPAUCING UP THE PATER.

Mr K .".imos of a plain family, unencumbered 'witii we:Uth. Ha was brought up ou a farm, afterwards tampered with trade in a country store, then associated himself .with a livsry stable, next cultivated a latent gift of oratory for a year or two as art auctioneer, and later widened his activities as a retail coal-dealer. This about twenty years ago led him on a propitious day iuto the coal-miuing business, where cue dollar brought on another, till he fiaally found h'unselt a niillioaiiro. But, despito his wealth, he was not the man to waste money in riotous living. His ways of living have remained plain. .But Mr K has a son with quite different ideas on tbo subject; of the uses of vcalth. Naturally his father has been a sore trial to the young man. While tho youth's clothes have averaged about eighty dollars a suit, and cams from the best tailors, the old gentleman has never yet exceeded a fixed limit of fifteen dollars in the purchase of a suit, ready made, and usually he has taken advantage of a removal or fire 6ale, and fitted himself out at about twelve dollar.'. Long and painful huvo bstu tho wrestlings of the sou with tho father on theso matters, but without result. ' Tho man that pays more than fifteen dollars n suit of clothes is a tarnal fool,' has always been tho ending of tha argument by tho older man. But tho worst thing which the son has had to bear bus bi-en bis lather's umbrella. He has curried tho same umbrella ever ainco his old friends can reiaomber. A local antiquarian has declared, over bis own si'<uature, tu.-it it is the original umbrella carried by old James Hanway in London in 1700, and ba-i suggested that thes Pennsylvania Historical S iciety seouro it for preservation in its archives; but this is projably ou'y au ill-chosen joke by a man not accustomed to incursions into the tield of humour. Bat it 18 certainly an ancient umbrella; the cover

is of a dingy drab, and tho ribs, w'uioh are ot whalebone, are so parmar.ontly bowed, even when closed, that it is an impossibility to force it more than ha'f-wav into tho largest umbrella-vase made. Mr. K always carries it, ruin or shine, holding, if the morning be fair, that it is a ' weatherbreeder,* and euro to bring storm, and if it oe cloudy, that of couvso no sano man will go forth unprepared. The sou Las not failed to point out tho advisability of tho other's providing himself with a new nmbrolla. but for a long tirao without producing tho least effect. Tho thing, however, became unboarablo at last, and ono day he met his parent in the hall as he came in, and said : 1 Now, see hero, father, you must got a now umbrolla. The wholo town is talking about that thing. The vory children in tho street laugh at it.' ' What's tho matter with this umbrella ?' loudly inquired the millionaire, striking tho nowel-post a couple of resounding whacks with it. ' Just as good as it was the day I bought it.' • But it's old, out of date, out of ehapo, faded, disgraceful, wretched. You can afford a new ono.' ' Can't afford a new anything as long as the old one does well enough;' and he thrashed the antiquated outrage about tho newel-post again, making its ribs rattle liko the boughs of a dead tree in a November gale. ' But you make suoh a tarnal fuss about this umbrella that I'll tell you what I'll do, for the sake of poace: I'll get a new one, but I won't piy more than 1 did for this one.' ' How much was that ?' inquired the son, doubtfully. • Ono dollar and a half,' answored tho other. 'That's tho limit. Any man who pays moro for an umbrella is a fool.' The son hesitated. Was an obviously cheap coton umbrella to be desired over tho old one ? Suddenly light dawned, however, and bo said: • All Hght, father. Umbrellas aro cheap now, and you can buy a protty good ono for a dollar and a half.* The young rann surreptitiously sent a note to his umbrella-dealer, and after luncheon called in with his father. ' Now thore,' said the tradesman, bringing out ono of the be3t in his stock, ' is such an umbrella as gentlemen of your age uvo carrying this reason. It's of superior make and fully warranted.* • What's the tariff?' inquirol the old gentleman, 6uspifiously. ' One dollar and a half,* au3wered tho

dealer. 'l'll tako it," responded tho other, producing tho money. After they bud left tbo store, the tradesman charged ten dollars to the son's account, beiug the difference between the real price of tho umbrella and tho price paid for it. At the office Mr K crowded tho old umbrella behind tho stt am-radiator, obs.erviug that it might come handy to lend to some visitor. The next morning, when he camo down town armed with the new umorella, tho whole town was astonished. Mmy peoplo failed to recognize him. That afcernoon, stopping out of his office, a friend met him, aud said: 'Mr K , that's a protty fino umbrolla you're carryiog.' The rich man smiled and responded: * Well, it ought to be. I puid a dollar and a half for that umbrella.' •Is that all? I'd like to gat it for five dollars.' ' You have got it,' relumed M>' II —, handing it over. ' Gunina tho five.' That evening as ho entered tbo houso ho walloped tho old bag of whalebmo round the uowel-post to attract bis so:/.s attention, remarking gleefully whoa he had dona so: By George, boy, I never made three and a half dollars so easy before in my lifo ! It was a great stroke your putting mo on to buym'j that naw umbrella !' And ever since ho has carried the old one.