A Cabinet Meeting.

Lake County Press, Issue 697, 27 February 1896, Page 7

A Cabinet Meeting.

(By Our Own Mahatma.) “ Good old Blavatsky,” as we call her, must have been in a mesmeric trance lately, for a message came from South signed “ Wach Meister,” and said, “ Hurry up, old man ; Cabinet meeting just about to begin.” So I hurried, and found all the Ministers who are still to the fore and Lord Glasgow, at the hea I of the tabic, in the Cabinet room—all of them looking »s if their breakfasts had not agreed with them. The first to speak was His Excellency. “I should like to know what you sent for me in such a hurry for? ” The P r.— ‘ •On State business, your Excellency. We require an Order-in-Couneil to extend the size of flounders from 4 inches to 4J ” H.E.—“ Make ’em as big as you like, but let us have ’em cheaper and more of ’em. Anything else ? ” P r.—“ Yea, the question of defence. Could you spare Major Elliott to assist me as Defence Minister in selecting the analysts under the Liquor Act ? They are in the Defence Department, you see.” H.E.—“Hardly. “I don’t mind telling you that the one-gun battery in the Botanical Gardens will be hideous and useless ; the ramifications of the liquor business might be part of a Premier’s duties, but certainly not of a representative of Her -Majesty. Is that all ? ”

P r{ io his colleagues).—“ Gentlemen, there are tour carriages at the door, Will you kindly take a ride and charge the cab hire to Imprest Account ? I wish to have :i private conference with the Governor if you will kindly retire.” Exit VV d, McK o, C u, and C 1.

P r. —“ Your Excellency, we are alone. You repreccnt Royalty—l, the Democracy ; and the Democracy is in a hole. I have a favor to ask at your hands.” H.E,—“ My go. d i■, you are my Constitutional Adviser. If 1 can do anything for you. strictly within the four coiners of my p >wers, say the word.” P r.—“ Well, without putting too fine a point on it, I want a dissolution.” H.E.—“ Great Ctesar ! Whv ? What for ?

P r.—“Simply because I’m a ruined community. Don’t say ‘no,’ Glasgow.” (He drops on- his knees and produces a large-sized handkerchief, and sobs). —“ It you only knew all you’d pity me.” H.E.—“ Look here, drop that crocodile business and tell me what’s the matter.” P r.—“l’m Public Works'and Defence. I’m Native and Marine, I’m Labour and Education, and before long i’ll have to be Treasury and Post Office as well ; and my health's breaking down.” H.E.—“ Oil, hang it all 1 if you ran the whole show it would’nt put as much strain on you as a Wairarapa banquet. Take courage, man. You have a big majority, only don’t app lint any more Ministers.” P r.— ’* Tnat’s just where the mosquito comes in. I’ve got room for two, besides a new Treasurer ; and as soon as I pick the two there will be twenty to jump the fence since Lewis did us so had in Christ church.”

H.E.—“ Why not make overtures to Lewis, if he holds the trump card ?” P r,—“ No good ; 1 tried that on, and tie would’t bite. My only chance is a speedy dissolution befoif the enemy is prepared.” H. E.— “If that is so I cannot help you. You and Your colleagues hive spent five years in concocting your dish for the Hemocracy. and in the exercise of my powers as Her Majesty’s Representative I can only carry out my instructions, and till you that you must stew in your own juice until the general election.” P r.—“ But, Y'our Excellency, where will the Libera! Party’ be without a dissolution ?”

H.E.—“ My good fellow ; dry your tears ! Liberalism is a word which has done you immense service. Yon have had a good time for five years by working that ideal for all it was work. My opinion is that it is played out ; but you and your chums have had a good time, and it is only proper that you should.'remain to do the washing up. But, no dissolution to-day, Richard..” And then his Excellency marched out of the Council room, and the Pr proceeded to shy the contents cf the nook shelves at imaginary Tories, and the inkstand at a photo of the new Agent-general.—Evening Post.

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