IN LIQUIDATION.

Kumara Times, Issue 823, 21 May 1879, Page 4

IN LIQUIDATION.

A SCREAMING FARCE. (As Performed, to the tune of Eighteen Millions a Tear, in London and the Provinces.) [LONDON PUNCH.] Scene.— A Solicitor's Office—Meeting of Crtditors discovered. Enter to them Hawksley, Trustees and Smooth, Solicitor to Buttery's Liquidation. Brown (a plethoric large Creditor). We all know what we're here for. I move that Mr Jones, as Principal Creditor, do take the Chair. Robinson (another still more full-boiled large Creditor). I beg to second that motion. [Motion put and carried unanimously, Jones after bowing hints-If into the Chair). Gentlemen, we are met here to receive the Trustee's statement of the liquidation in that business of Buttery's. I hope, for all our sakes, that we're in for a substantial dividend. (Applause.) And the sooner we get it the better. (Immense applause.) So I will waste no more words, but call at once on the Trustee for his report. [Hawkesly responds to the summons by settling his papers. Hawksley. You are doubtless aware, Gentlemen—practical men of business as you all are—that this has been a most troublesome eßtate to wind up—the property of the debtor peculiarly difficult to realise—in fact I may truly call it one of the toughest jobs though of a trifling character as regards assets and liabilities, I have ever taken in hand in all my long experience. The assets, as some of you may remember, were stated at LISQO. The liabilities, oddly enough, stood at precisely the same figure—a very rare and gratifying feature in the case. We have been forced to three sales by auction—very troublesome things always. One was of furniture, valued by Mr Buttery himself at L4OOO. This realised LlB5. (Movement among Creditors.) The plant and machinery of the concern were sold in one lot for Ll6O. (Renewed sensation). Mr B.'s valuation of this, confirmed by our own valuer, was LBoo—not an extravagant amount, if, as I am informed, it originally cost L3,ooo—aud I shouldn't at all wonder. You know, as men of business, what these forced sales are—ruinous, Gentlemen—simply ruinous. (Lifts up his eyelids and shrugs his shoulders.) Then there was the sale, by auction, of two small freehold-bouses. We put them at L2OO. There was a first mortgage charge on them of L 6500. They realised L 25, after satisfying mortgagee's claims—there was half a year's interest due—Ll6 ss.—and so left L 8 13s. for the benefit of the estate. (Growing depression among Creditors.) The book-debts which were valued—somewhat sanguinely perhaps—at LIOO we have sold for LlO. (Creditors who looked blank before look blanker still.) We don't consider ten per cent at all bad for book* debts. This, I think, is all the assets. Coming to sum-totals, Gentlemen, (Movement ; Jones mopping his forehead, Brown in a high state of perspiration, Robinson breathing hard), we have, all realised, £363 15s. available for dividend (a smothered groan from Jones) and expenses—or perhaps I should rather say expenses and dividend. Brown (jumpiug up after having with difficulty kept his seat thus far). Con-found it, Sir ! We were offered ten shillings in the pound guaranteed, at the first meeting ; but Mr Smooth here (turning to glare fuiiously at that Gentleman), he advised liquidation as the best thing for the creditors—and talked about twenty shillings in the pound—he did—and be to him ! (Prolonged sensation.) Smooth (severely). Take care, Mr Brown ; (beaming blandly on the rest of the Crtdvtors), I can assure you Gentle* men, that Mr Hawksley has acted indefatigable in this case—most careful to do the best for the estate and creditors. I oan answer for it, that he has never taken a step without consulting me. Jones (malignantly). And you charging us jolly well for it, I'll be bound. Smooth (warningly). Take care, Mr Jones! Robinson (wlw is short necked and plethoric, and daren't trust himself to expresshis feelings. What's the dividend ? Jones (wlw knows his Friend's symptoms) Don't excite yourself, Robinson. It's bad for you, you know it is. (To other Creditors who are gradually approaching to boiling point). Gentlemen, be patient. It ain't any good getting in a passion. (A lull). Hawksley (serenely). Having stated realised assets, we now come to costs of liquidation (looking at Paper throngh hit double eye glass.) First, we have Solicitor's costs—most moderate, I think you will admit—Llo4 6s ; than Auctioneer'3 valuations and commissions,—that's always a heavy item,—L36 6s. ; and Trustees costs, —we have kept them down as close as we could, as the estate was a small one,—L222 95., leaving available for dividend the sum of Eighteen Shillings and Fourpence precisely ! (Silence and stupefaction.) Jones (with a ghastly attempt at humor) How much may that be in the pound 1 Hawksley. I have not worked it out yet, but if you'll give me a few minutes—perhaps— [Flourishing his gold pencil case. . Robmson (with ironical calm). Don't trouble yourself. We've had enough of your figures. It cost me eighteen-pence to prove my debt. I should have been better off if I'd made Buttery a present 0' the money, and had done with it; and now he's cleaned out, and the Creditors have got nothing, and all the estate has found its. way into your pockets between you. A'nice slate 0' things, I call it!

Mr Smooth. Be careful with your inuendoes, Sir; I may have to teach you that professional men have a character to uphold.

Hawksly (soothingly). 1 am sure, Mr Robinson did not mean—(Robinson shows in his face that he did mean all th&t Mr H. means he did not mean, and a good deal more)—l can assure you, Gentlemen, that the realisation has been a careful one—most careful, —has, in fact, had more time given to it thaa the amount of the estate perhaps, would have justified, strictly speaking.

Robmson (with a ghastly chuckle). Ha, ha, ha! All I hope is that, Mr Hawksley, when he's realising for himself, will look as sharp as when he's realising for its. Jones (bursting his bounds). I think it's quite time this hum jugging trusteebusiness was done with; Slowed if it ain't

Hawksly (indignantly). " Humbugging," Mr Jones. I did not come here to be insulted. You will find lam master of the situation.

Jones. " Situation be hanged ? I should jolly well like to move the Court, and see if you are master.

Hawkesly. Better not waste your money, Mr Jones, if you'll allow me to advise you. I aro not amenable to any Court— (with solemnity), except that of my character and my conscience. To the former I appeal—to the latter I look for support, under these cruel and undeserved aspersions. Ask your legal adviser. . Jones. Is that so Mr Smooth ?

Smooth. Undoubtedly. Good gracious ! Didn't you put yourself into his hands ? Didn't you give him full power? The Lord Chancellor himself couldn't do anything.

Hawksley (with calm superiroity). knd if he could, you seem to forget, Gentlemen, that lam in the eye of the law, an officer of the Court (proudly). Jones (getting lower and, lower in hz language, under the influencb of excitement). It seems to me you are the Court. As far as I can make out, you owe nobody no account—no money—no nothing. Blessed if it ain't a regular swindle, all round!

Hawksley (with wounded dignity). Did you hear, Mr Smooth ? (Sternly.) You will repent this language, Mc Jones. Jones desperate and defiant). Do your worst! I can always face the like of you—in Court, or out —though the less I see of you, anywhere, the better. Co me along, Gents. It don't smell Bweet here, somehow—it really don't.

Robinson (resignedly). Well, we're all done brown. I suppose that's all about it. Case o' " grin and bear it" all round. Come along !

[Exeunt Creditors crestfallen, headed by Brown, Jones, and Robinson, who exchange looks of defiance with Hawksley and- Smooth, as they pass out. Smooth and Hawksley gather up their papers, whisper, smile, shake hands, and move to the door, in fraternal alliance.

The Post complains of the absurdity af the large towns from Wellington south having to wait a day longer for their mails to enable the steamer to call at New Plymouth, Nelson, and Picton.