NOTES BY THE WAY

King Country Chronicle, Volume XXIX, Issue 4747, 17 September 1935, Page 5

NOTES BY THE WAY

(By Rambler.)

Sales have almost doubled in the motor trade. Pedestrians are going at the double, too. ,

It's not level crossings that the Government should eliminate in this district, but bridges!

Lady chairman: A business man declares that brains should be taxed. Trust a man to suggest taxation that wouldn't affect himself.

A Turkish General says that conquest of Ethiopia by Italy is impossible. So was the scaling of the heights at Gallipoli—but are the Italians Anzacs?

A newly-appointed woman Judge in America demanded the immediate release of a convict. It's just like a woman not to let a man finish a sentence.

Notice on the porch of a church: "Worshippers who, intend to put buttons in the .collection are requested to give their own and not pull them ff off the hassocks."

Commissioner Lamb, of the Salvation Army, is of the opinion that the British race is doomed. Then there is a very rotten outlook for all the other nations. . .

The All Blacks, in spite of the requests of the crowd, refused to give a haka before their first match. So they are sticking to their word, are they? Well, so long as they don't give the raspberry, instead . .

When Hitler, Mussolini and others of that ilk leave this mortal vale of tears and strife they may have some qualms of conscience in entering the Kingdom of Heaven. Yet there is only one other alternative.

"A good voice is a divine gift," says a musical judge. "A singer is born with it." Personally, I think that most singers are born without it. They just try to acquire it, and- .

Unless some defence is afforded, the British passenger and mail service between Australia and San Francisco will be withdrawn within a few months, I read. I wonder if after that the Matson boats will receive the same subsidy as to-day and the same service. *

A Budget forecast states that there is to be a partial restoration of civil servants' cuts, a reduction in the unemployment tjax, and a greater number of relief workers placed on full time at standard wages. Now the Democrats and Labour will have to go one better in their election promises..

Up to the present I have made a study of 49 plans to deal with the depression. When the Democratic Party gets going thers will be the"

half century. But every one is on ethereal promises. What will they be when the elections are over and the winners are called upon to fulfil them?

This just reminds me . what a funny country Yankeeland is. She subsidises with good hard cash a shipping concern to take passengers and goods from Australasia to her, and then puts up tariff walls and immigration restrictions so that these goods and passengers won't enter.

No, Horace, I have not heard whether the Democrat Party intends to put up a candidate for the Waitomo seat, nor do I know what the Doidge-Herdman-Goodfellow combination intend to do. It is reported, however, that one of these three gentlemen gentleman was supposed to be in Te Kuiti last week.

Some Irish Minister says: "The complete achievement of our national object is in sight." Personally, I doubt it—but what a long time after the others of the British Commonwealth of Nations is our little turbulent Ireland in obtaining such status. Perhaps if she had only been a little less obstreperous she might have done better.

Now, dealing with politics, the electors of this Dominion wili have to use their brains during the forthcoming elections. They will have to choose from the Nationalists, the Democrats, the Lsfbour Socialists, the Liberals, not to mention the Indepnedents. What sort of Parliament will we have when the music stops?

Some new "howlers": The rotation of the earth means that the world turns on its own abscess.

Composition is the art of bringing loose ideas into a complication. Tides are a mystery known only to God. And as a mystery is above reason nobody knows what tides are. A machine in science is anything that does work on its own after you have worked many horse-power to make it do what it has to do at all. When a bad smell is smelled the smell acts on the legs and the muscles force the legs to hurry away quickly. A polygon is a man with more than one wife, but an Englishman is not allowed to be a polygon, for his wife brings him up for it.

"We long for the days of Balhmce, Seddon and Ward," is the cry of a lot of people who believe that these supermen would cure all our economic and financial ills. Others believe that the Massey regime would bring this country back to prosperity. These men were on a rising tide, however, and when the country is prosperous there are no complaints. Some talk as if the ForbesCoates administration deliberately planned the degression. Reminds me of the story of the boy who went to school one morning crying bitterly, and when the teacher asked the cause of his woe he said that a baby had arrived at his house. "Why should that make you cry?" asked the teacher. "Well, I get blamed for everything," was the sobbing reply..