MILLIONS IN IT.

King Country Chronicle, Volume X, Issue 909, 23 September 1916, Page 6

MILLIONS IN IT.

The path to fortune is paved with good inventions, apparently. The recipe for piling up a million dollars is absurdly simple. Simply invert something that about nine-tenthß of the people in the country want and need, and name your price. There are many things of insignificant Bize and apparently little importance, in which there are fame and fortune for the inventor Somebody invented the little wire fastener that holds pamphlets and magazines together, and some one invented the machine that stitches them faster than the eye can follow. Whether those somebodies are millionaires or not is not known, but assuredly there were "millions in it" for some one who gave the publisher a bookbinder without which they could hardly get along now. That there are many other little notions of this sort, in existence, is shown in the following list of twelve much-needed inventions, given off hand by an after dinner speaker in New York recently:— 1. A cheap automobile fuel 2. The perfect tyre. 3. The perfect fountain pen and ink-well. 4. A shoe that needs no laces or buttonß. 5. A quick fitting corset needing no laces. 6. A moth-proof wardrobe without odour. 7. An automatic rug-beater. 9. A window-screen that will roll up like a shade. 10. A collar that looks right and needs no fickle button. 11. A bottle for applying iodine and removing the Btain simultaneously. 12. A means of popularising carrotchips. * There are good ideas in the list, remarks the New York press, but also many flaws. These, it proceeds to point out, suggeting other means to millions: Is the Congress shoe so Boon forgotten? Colourless iodine ia not at all a rarity, nor is it expensive. Why a rug-beater in the day of the vacuum cleaner As for the easily donned corset, the man who invents an article of dress for woaian whoss only recommendation is that it saves trouble ia a fool for his pains. Here are a few substitute suggestions which we commend to rising young Ediaons: 1 A corset which is twice as much trouble, but guaranteed to make the dowager look as if she wighed 1251b5. 2 A shoe which makes a "D" foot look like an "AAA" no matter if it take two maids half a hour to put it on. 3. A device to turn the pages of a newspaper and hold it comfortably while one clings to a Bubway strap. 4. An envelope which makes it impossible to forget to mail abetter. 5. A system which makes it easy to get nineteen nickels, from the subway ticket booth ledge before the ninaty-three persons behind begin to growl. 6. A false superstructure which will make the most popular brand of jitney bus look like a £luoo motor car But why enumerate twelve ways ; to make a million when the man that will devise any one of thesß can make twelve million dollars, and the lucky inventor of the laßt twelve times twelve mililonsT