GINGER NUTS.

King Country Chronicle, Volume VIII, Issue 639, 31 January 1914, Page 3

GINGER NUTS.

Hay fever does not necessarily result from making love to grasß widows. Elephant stealing is a lucrative business in Siam. Rather heavy "swag" to "lift." The scarcity of curates is no idle rumour; some girls have been trying to get one for years. A Mr Smoker, of New Jersey, has been hic-coughing for a fortnight. He must feel very s-hic of it by this time. Twenty-six sovereigns were fuund in a crocodile shot in Swaziland. There is more money in big game than we thought. Throe scientists who descended the crater of Vesuvius say that a serious eruption is imminent. This, in sporting parlance, is "inside information." It was stated at the London Sheriff's Court that a defendant had written over a thousand love-letters. If he isn't very careful this habit will grow on him. A man arrested in Paris was wearing five waistcoats, five pair of trouser, two of socks, and two of stockings. He was probably about to brave the English climate. Tt is no good marrying a professional beauty and expecting her to make a good sick-nurse. You might just as well buy a diamond tiara and expect it to turn into a flannel petticoat. Don't get tragic, with the very nicest men even, however much they love you. Secretly, all men loath tragedw. Never have hysterics. Pretend to be rather a limited idiot, and they'll love you blindly. v You'd be a great goose if you didn't see your husband's faults; but you'd be a still greater one if you tried to cure him of them! A husband's faults are like the spots upon the sun. It is a great pity that they are there; but if you try to remove them, vou'll only succeed in burning your own finger. And you'll get a lot of amusement out of them if you take them in the right way, ai'd remember that marriage is a voyage of exploration and not a missionary enterprise. "My experience," said Mr Hutton, the Greenwich magistrate, "is that when a man wants to sell a motor-car it can go easily at one hundred miles an hour, but when the driver gets into trouble it is shown that it can only go at four miles an hour with difficulty." An octogenarian, charged at Eastbourne with stealing four cigars, was asked by the magistrate's clerk where he came from. Prisoner: "The only place where you can get mutton —from Cowes." "They have only been married six month?," said Sir Marchant Williams, at Merthyr, in a case in which a young wife sought to obtain a maintenance order against her husband. "Married people don't understand each other for twelve months," added his worship.