BETWEEN WHILES

Hokitika Guardian, 28 September 1929, Page 7

BETWEEN WHILES

“I think marriages are really made in heaven, don’t you ?” “Well, if all men took as long to propose as you, most of them would have to be.” Magistrate: Are you quite sure the defendant was the worse for drink? Constable: No, sir; not posithe. But his wife says he brought home a manhole cover in his car and tried to play it on the gramophone. , “My hair is falling out,” admitted the timid man to the chemist’s assistant. “Can you recommend something to keep it in?’’ “Certainly,” replied the obliging young man, who had only recently left school. “Here’s a nice cardboard box.” Attendant :• There’s a man outside who wants to know if any of the patients have escaped lately. Director of the Asylum: Why does he ask? Attendant: He says someone has run away with his wife. Lovesick Youth (giving description of his missing sweetheart): Her eyes are like diamonds, her nose that of V'enus, her mouth like a rosebud, teeth like pearls, and her hair—ah—like the glowing dawn | Country constable: Ha! And what’s she like to look at, sir?” Night descended over the sea. The storm gathered foVce. Some of the deck fittings had already been swepti overboard. The captain, who had been growing steadily more anxious, decided to send up a distress signal. The rocket was fired off. A few minutes later a solemn passenger, who had been roused from sleep bv the noise, and had scon the bursting of the rocket through the porthole, made his way up to the captain. “Captain,” he said, “I hope I’m not a killjoy, but this seems to me no time to be letting off fireworks.”