DANGERS OF GOLF—A WARNING.

Hawera & Normanby Star, Volume XLII, Issue XLII, 10 March 1923, Page 9

DANGERS OF GOLF—A WARNING.

I am in hospital. The doctor thinks that I may perhaps be out again in about six weeks. My clavicle is almost repaired, my tibia has been neatly spliced, my phalanges are nearly all reset, and my patella is gradually coming back into a more or less normal position. Let me tell you about it. The golf club to which I belong, and of which I am, I believe, captain for the current twelve months, has a rule, derived from Royal and Ancient customs, whereby the club's captain is elected in September each year by a majority vote of the members, and in- i augurates his year of office by driving j a ball from the first tee. An expectant, j crowd awaits the ball; the lucky mdi- I vidua! capturing it returns it to the captain, who rewards him with a five- j pound note, and the ball is placed in { a glass case in the clubroom, with an inscription, "Driven yards by : on the i inauguration of his captaincy, September 1&—." The election this year provided more than usual interest. Superior golfing skill has hitherto constituted the qualification for a captain-elect; but on this occasion a considerable number of mem. bers held the opinion that my thirty years' connection with the club and the I unfailing consistency of my play (my j handicap has steadily remained at themaximum ever since I joined) justified my candidature. The rest of the members were in favourvof Judkins, who is 4 and is thinking of entering for the amateur championship next year.

The club enjoyed, all the excitement oi a ■ general election. A ballot was taken instead of the usual show of hands, and the voting, resulted: Hi«b-brow-JOnes, 39; Judkins, 38. As my friends put it, I Mas one up on Judkins Four o'clock the next afternoon was the time fixed for the ceremony of playing myself in. I confess I felt slightly nervous, for driving is not my strong department. Arriving at the first tee .iust before the appointed hour I found iin enormous concourse of spectators, toremost amongst them Judkins. clad m his chess-board plus fours. The vista to the first bunker was lined with caddies and others, each bent on acquiring a five-pound note, while a few optimists waited beyond, and one eccentric on the first green. j As the club clock struck four a nice new ball was teed, and I proceeded to address it. My past life flashed through my *brain, with a relentless, background of Judkms.'s Joud cheeks. My' knees I began to wobble; I set my teeth and j decided on direct action before my j optic nerves might become hypnotised. j 1 swung my club and. let drive—the ball remained intact. I Had completely missed it. For a moment I was petrified. Should I claim a trial ball or a sighter, and take another stroke with loss of distance? I had no time to decide, for the mob. headed by Judkins, swooped wilaly in my direction. Engulfed and overwhelmed, I fell prostrate under a forest of legs and falling bodies and was trampled into the earth. I understand that some of my friends eventually collected me and brought me to the hospital, wheer I was sorted out by the doctors. When at Inst I recovered consciousness I found, pinned to mv coverlet, a note from Judkins claiming the five pounds, and mentioning that the b*>ll bad been duly placed in the olnb. Pullington, who visited me vpsterday. tells me that Judkins has' had the ball inscribed t ' 'Teed by

I *>■' \'"'::Y- -. . -■-■ -. -.■■■ ' ~~T W. Highbrow-Jones on the inauguration of his captaincy, September, 1922.'' I shall never really like Judkins. My newspaper has repudiated mj spoils insurance claim on the ground that the accident was not caused by golf. The insurance editor's letter adds: "On the contrary"—whatever that may mean. But the point which is troubling me is this: Have I complied with the rules of the club regarding the duties of a captain-ifieet? Pullington .tells me that Judkins has taken legal advice -and holds that. Ijnuet drive'again from the first tee. I will resign first.