MATRIMONY WHILE YOU WAIT

Hawera & Normanby Star, Volume LIII, Issue LIII, 13 April 1908, Page 2

MATRIMONY WHILE YOU WAIT

A RECORD COVJirSHIP.

AMUSING LIMERICK SCENE.

At killmallock (County Limerick) Board oi-Ouardians lately thf re was a scene of hilarity following an, applicatiun i'loin a Cluirlf ( vill« | man whicli jeod — "I request the Board of Guardians to provide me with a wife out of \h& kcuso. I will be present myseif Ijcaoi-o tUe Boai-d.'" A man of about twenty-five years of ago was called bwfoar thei Board, and fcoid tliat no wrote tho letter. He added that hei had no hoiu©, but was looking out for one. Chairman (Mr. P. Hayes)— -Where, will you carry tJic wife if we give heir to ycu } I Applicant. — I don't want a homo until I La.-o got a wife. (Laughter.) I'd go to lodgings for a n:{rht. (Rei;c>wcd laughter.) Chairman. — Do ycu belong to tlvo Lazy Society in CliuxleviUo — the sociei;/ witk hands in tkoir pockets and backb to tJie walls of the* hoiu-e.*? (Laughtea*.) [ Applicant said he didn't belong to 1 it. He had £3. j Chairman. — Which would \cu rather ' have, it single- woman* <tr one with two 'or tliroa childrjia (laughter.) I Applicant.— l don't care which. (More laughter.) The Cliaijinan suggestod, aonid new laughter, tlxat the master take tho applicant to tho houfce and show him tko women. TJie Master. — F& must put down the money befc-rti I go anywhere with, him. (Litughtci 1 .) Mr. Murphy (a Guardian)— Ho can't buy a pig ma. poke. (Moro laughter.) (To appliuijit.) — Which would yen prer for, tlie money or tho jmi-1 ? (Laughter) Applicant. — I'd prefer ihe girl. (Roars cf laughter.) Applicant tUem tm'ned his Lack to the Guurdinns, and, soon passed some not<?s to tho clerk, I who couutod tlion) arc! said — "1 1 thought yC'U said you hud three "' Applicant said tliat hei also liad j salvor. I The Clerk — Koap that at pi'aseoitl. This is only a retainer. (Laughtea*.) The master, Mr Murphy, and the applicant them loft the room for the purpose of selecting a wife for the 1 last-named. They proceeded to the hall of the houso, whore a number of v/omeai wore assembled. Oxi rc-t.uming to the. boardroom, Mr Murphy said — "It is .vcttleid (Laughter.) A girl has consented, and the money isi to be held by the clerk un.t'l she goo 3 out. Sho would go now, but she asked permission of ilio mastea* to eat her dinner. (Laughter.) Mr o 'Sullivan (assistant clerk) — You wore not long making the ma,tch. (Laughter.) Mr Murphy — Tt was a dry one. (Moro laughter.) . rii2i applicants mono.y was returned to bJui, and he was told to got a ceirtdficatei fro,m the priest as a, preliminary to the miu-riago. The. clerk suggested tliat applicant, should defer tlu- happy event for a week, but the man replied, amid great meirimcait — "It is DO.t possible, tJiat 1 could. I'll come down, to-morrow." Mr Murphy — Do, but go up now, a.nd have a chat with her before you go. (Continued ■ laughter. )