VARIOUS ITEMS.

Hawera & Normanby Star, Volume LI, Issue 9074, 24 April 1906, Page 6

VARIOUS ITEMS.

LENT AN M.P. A PENNY.

A pleasant story of Sir William Bull, M.P., has just come to light.

One morning recently the member for Hammersmith boarded- a London. United tramway car, but found, when the conductor came for the fare that he had no money. The conductor politely offeiied to pay it for him and .also said if Sir William wanted any moTe he would be pleased to lend him some. But Sir William only wanted- his fare.

Next morning the conductor was agreaably surprised to. Teceive a silvelr matchbox as a gift from Sir William and his card, wHh this inscription :—

"To a courteous gentleman, , who not only lent Sir William Bull a penny, but offered to lend him as much more as ha wanted."

On the reverse side was : —

"A friend id need is a friend indeed. Receipt for one penny, kindly lent without security.'

TAKEN UNAWARES,

A good story is recalled of Mr Justice Grantham, who is one of the parliamentary petition Judges. At one time, before hetook his place on^ tho Bench, he was a well-known, political speaker. On ona occasion, while he was delivering an address, a man got up in the body of the hall and shouted, "It's a lie !" "Thanks!" retorted Mr Gra.-ithaan. The interrupter was not to be appeased. "It's a lie!" he shouted again, iur Grantham was becoming nettled. "You're a gentleman," he exclaimed sarcastically. "It's a lie!" burst out his opponent again, carried away by his wmaith.

NO TIME FOR PERFECT ENGLISH

. The Temark of a barrister in the Bloomsbury County Court that a defendant had "not turned up" caused the Judge to exclaim, "Pray, do not us© suclh slip-shod expressions." The barrister apologised. "These," he said, ''ars high-pressure days, and since your honor's days .at the Bar we have no longer time to indulge in perfect English."

COBWEBS FOR WOUNDS.

That cobwebs will slop bleeding is a belief deeply looted in various parts of the country. They were put on the wound on a finger of his left hand ■ which v William

Philpott, of Minster, Slieppey, received while feeding a chaff-cutter. Tetanus symptoms developed eleven days after the accident. At the inquest, when a verdict of acidental death was returned, the coroner said he hoped the case would be a warning to people not to apply oobwebe to wounds.

STRANGEST "VESSEL" IN OUR NAVY.

The Island of Ascension, in. the Atlantic, is the sole property of the British Admiralty authorities, and is borne on the Navy List as a vessel, being classed as a tender to one of his Majesty's ships of waT. The island is governed by a naval captain, and, the men stationed there are subject to the same rules as they would be on. board ship. There is no private property in /•land, so that there are no Tents ? rates, or i taxes to bother about.

THE PERFECT PERSON.

A preacher had been discoursing on the sinfulness of man, and at length asked his congregation if they had ever heard of an absolutely perfect person. To his utter surprise, from a far gallery, in a clear sweet voice came tho answer, "Yes." As soon ,as tSbe sensation had subsided the preacher exclaimed, "Who was that perfect person, pray?" And t!he lady in the gallery answered : "Please } sir, she was my husband's first wife."

SINGING ENLARGES HEART.

Among London choristers a curing malady of the heart prevails. In many boys who are undergoing choir ' training left-sided .enlargement of the chesit, together with shortriiess of breath and palpitation, have been discovered — conditions

that tend to become permanent. It is believed tlhat early training in singing and voice-produotion tends to cause enlargement of the heart. "

DOG TALKS THROUGH TELEPHONES

The senior partner of a London firm has taught his dog not only to guard the office during his absence, but also to re port "all's well" while the premises are closed. A telephone which does not require the receiver to be taken off its holder, is fixed up. The partner rings up until t!ho attention of the dog is aroused when the cannie caretaker barkw to show that all is well. I LARGE FEET AN ASSET. The following advertisement appears in a provincial paper: "Wantedj a few men I with big feet to tiead mill ashes into Dulesgate flags. Must provide thedr own boots, and work for same pay as others already engaged on job.'

From the crop of a Dorking rooster which was dying from overfeeding, 15£oz. of undigested food was removed by a successful operation. The crop capacity of these Mrds is usually l^oz. "One htmch>ec[ and fifcfy members of the new House of Commons are total abstainers," sai dMr T, W, Russel, M.P., speaking before the- -National Commercial Tern, pe-rance League on Saturday. While dancing as a general accomplishment seems to be decaying in Paris, its vogue i London is steadily increasing.