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Hutt News, Volume 15, Issue 20, 15 October 1941, Page 2

THE FOWL The visiting team came from a coal mining district, and they were brawny fellows. The home team were not equal to their opponents' rough tactics, and were faring badly. Time after time little incidents were passed over by the referee that were not strictly in accordance with the book of rules. At last one of the home supporters could stand it no longer. "I say, ref.," he bawled, "do you only know a foul when it weari; feathers/" HER UNDERSTANDING The pedestrian,* had suffered serious leg injuries in a motor accident, and he had brought a claim against the motorist to the Court. "How much are you claiming?'' asked the Judge. The pedestrian consulted his legal adviser. "One thousand pounds," 'h« answered, after a while. ; The motorist sprang up and protested at once." "One thousand pounds," 1 he crieS angrily. "But I'm no millionaire."' "And I'm no centipede," retorted' the claimant. ' ' '' FOR ALL OCCASIONS /"j The turn was over and *jtHft theatre was silent for a while. "I say/' said the conductor, leaning down to speak to his first violin, "whatever key were you playirfg in?" - , ■ -. t f "Skeleton key," returned the violinist readily enough. "Skeleton key?" echoed the conductor. "Whatever do you mean?" "Fits anything," was the reply.

DAD'S WAY OP PUTTING IT The tea agent was eager to get a big order from dad, so he laughed witli him, laughed at dad's stale jokes, and praised the farm. Then he gave dad a little sympathy. "Your neighbour's stock seems to be in a better condition Jhan yours," he said. "Yaire," drawled dad, "and so they ought to be. He gets more rain than I do." "How so?" asked the perplexed agent. i. ''.Well, he's got more flamin' land for it to fall on, hasn't he/" dad snapped. STILL IN SERVICE ' 'darefully the tramp climbed the ■stfcps of a large house, and, arriviJii'g at the top, rang the electric bell. The door opened, and the occupant fof'fthe house, a professor of music, on the threshold. t "Excuse me, sir;," began the tramp, bowing politely. "Have you any worn out clothes?" "I have," itriiwefed the other. "What do you do' wit?i them?" "I fold them carefully and hang them over a chair every night," replied the musician, "and then in the morning I brush Mf m n d put them on again." tjL I ' " ~ ; * , SURE SIGN small girls were playing toin the park pne afternoon. "I wonder what the time is?" said one of them at last. it can't be* 4 o'clock yet," replied the other with great logic, "because my mother said I was to be home at 4—and I'm not." * *