CHILDREN AND MANNERS.

Hutt News, Volume 3, Issue 23, 30 October 1930, Page 2

CHILDREN AND MANNERS.

Most of us wish to give our children ■every possible advantage. We strive to build up material assets for our young folk/but we often lose sight of the fact tftat ottd children's manners are going to make or mar their characters. Every mother who allows her child to grow up rude and boorish or lacking in knowledge or practice of the little courtesies of life is definitely robbing her child; she is putting on Mm a handicap that will place him far beMnd his bettertrained competitors in ttie race of life. Good manners are a definite asset; they can be acquired for nothing, but they have a real value as a factor in success. The wise mother will begin teaching her children to practise t even in babyhood, for the child who fcas reached twelve years or more and still has no manners is a difficult problem. At this age the mother's most serious obstacles are the child's budding self-consciousness and the obstinacy of bad habits. The main thing to remember ia that training without example is more useless at this age than, ever before, as the cMld is now wise enough to notice for himself and discrepancies between precept and practice. .: s . Many of okt children appear to lack respect for t&eir elders and reverence «.f high ideals, but no child can build up a definitely strong character without a certain amount of such qualities, v they should be instilled into him rrom infancy. The Girl Guides and the Hoy Scouts are wonderful organisations if only for the work they do in this dirt a-oL. No child can continually repeat the Scout promise and salute the ■Hag wh&out growing in reverence for <hid acd country, and the Scout'obligation of one good deed, every day is a definite call to unselfishness; As children grow older and mix with other children, a certain sloppiness of speech is very often noticed. This should be checked from its onset, as nothing so mars an otherwise charming personality as the use of such uncouth words as "yep" and "nope' 1 and the careless dropping of final consonants. Obildren should be encouraged to answer questions properly and respect«Eully. ••■Ma*' and "Pa" should be ■dropped from a child's vocabulary and 1

the better sounding "Mother and "Father" substituted. The child should with patience and perseverance be taught to rise when elder people enter a room and to greet them gracefully. It is very unpleasant to speak to a child and be answered by hanging head and mumbled words* A child who will greet ihis mother's ..,iids. easily and graciously without ibeing "forward" will always be remembered pleasantly and will be a source of pride to his parents. Table manners are of vast importance but never correct your child at the table in the presence of other folk. Carefully note all efforts made in,4fres right direction and stress these when you are pointing out his mistakes. Make him understand that there is no such, tihirig as company manners, and that proper behaviour should be practised at home as well as elsewhere. The child shotdd be taught to <chew with hi 9 mouth shut, to break ihis bread into small pieces before buttering it, to eat hist soup quietly from the side of the spoon; he should learn to serve himself from the dishes without going at them as if he were shovelling coal, and he should not use his knife as if it were a saw, nor should he pile hisplate to overflowing. These are small j points, but taken together they make all the diffiernce between a plasing man* nr and an unpleasant one. Of course, there is the shy child who will sometimes do the rude and awkward thing through sheer self-"conscious-ness. In this case sympathetic judgment must be used, for too constant cor- j rection will merely strengthen the habit by increasing his self-consciousness. A careful selection of companions and wise praise when things go right will go far in the training of a diffident child. Tne habit of interrupting others is never excusable. We unconsciously encourage it by answering in ordeT to be done with the child and send him on his way. Do not let this annoying taibit get a Jbold on him. If you notice that your children do ttot shake hands properly by grasping the hand and looking at the person they are greeting, insist on the correct procedure. By watching Ms father pour Iboy almost waeonsciously learns to doff his hat to women and to remove :t on coming indoors). Also teach him to give up his seat in the train or tram to a woman. The mother has a real problem to Eace when the father, wfrom she has been holding up as the ideal of masculine behaviour, returns- at night tired md, heedless of the example he is setsing, slams the doors, dnawars questions albruiptly, forgets to draw his (life's chair out from the dining-taible md behaves generally like a careless *>y- . ." , Making unnecessary noise is 'oaa nannersj and if this has not been cured in the nursery age make a point of loing it now. Slamming of doors, [>anqing up and down stairs, flinging jhoes on the floor, flopping into a chair with one's entire weight are particuarly obnoxious performances. Memi>ers of a family may become so iised ■o "their own noise that they notice it jnly when a guest is seen to wince, (but ;he tired lines in the face of the mother are often caused /by the noise she las had to endure. One very important point in t&e liscipline of children is concerted action on the part of the parents. There is nothing that so undermines the dissipllne and clogs the machinery of a iome as when the child knows that he san appeal from the judgment of one parent to the ©t&er. We need never fear in these days of and freedom that by overtraining we run the risk of making tmr children the prigs of a former generation.