SHORT STORIES

Hutt News, Volume 3, Issue 17, 18 September 1930, Page 12

SHORT STORIES

Boss: Mike, I ara, going to'make you a present of this pig. MJke: Sure, an', it's just like you, sorl ■-■ He: Wlhen you promised to obey at the altar' you waived certain rights. She: Yes, but it wasn't a permanent waive. She: Now that we arc engaged, dear, you'll give me a, ring, won't you? He: Yes, certaintly, darling. What's your number? * A: You sec that lady over there? She is Mrs. A. I fell in love with her at first sight. What, do you think of that? B: I think it would have been better had you taken a second look. "Wfeo was it that laughed just now?" "I did, sir. But I did not mean to." "Wihat do you mean?" '' Well, I laughed up my sleeves, ibut I did jiot know there was a hole in the elbow," •Native: If we turn, down this little street, cross the alley, and then take the path, it will lead iis to the station. Viisiting Friend: You seem to know all , the short cuts'. Native: Yes, we have a lot of flag days here. 1 'Boarder (on leaving): 'Mjadam, you are one of the most honest persons I have ever met. Landlady: I am glad to hear you say that^ sir. Boarder: Yes, your honesty is remarkable. On your sign you say l' Boarders taken in." "Does your father mind my coming here?" said Snrythe anxiously to iliss Aingelina *s small brother, - while that ! young lady was upstairs. '' No, he doesn't care," replied Johnnie. "That is a blessing," said Smythe, "but are you quite sure? Did you ever hear him say so ?" " Yes, of course I did, *' replied Johnnie, "why I heard him talking to mother about it, and he said: ' SWiell, if Angelina likes to make a fool of herself, why, let her'!" "Please, suy will you give me something? Just imagine how terrible it is to be an outcast from human society, and also to-be hat.cd' toy everyone!" "I won't give you anything, I am aw income tax collector myself!'' ANOTHER TEST. •Husband: How does a woman look when she is really startled? Wrife: Give one a £5 note and find out. ' . , NO FI.IES ON HIM. "Tommy, why did you eat the custard?" "Well, ana, you told me to put it where the flies couldn't get at it." HER MISTAKE. HMfrstress: You 'don't know where the geyser is? I thought my last maid explained it to you before she left? I *!Mjaid: "Wiell, mum, she did say the i old geyser needed polishing up, but I thought she was speaking disrespectfully of you, mum. , A "WITTY JUDGE. Judge: What extenuating circumstances can you give? Counterfeiter: Please your honour, I made the money to pay for my lodgings. Judge: Very good; it will pay. for your board and lodgings for the,next seven years. A POCKET EDITION. Auntie was in the habit, whenever she bought anything for herself, of buying a similar article in, miniature for her niece Auntio engaged to a very small ml c and took him to see her. The child examined him critically, and said: "I like him,a untie, "but where is yours?" THE RULE. (Visitor: I suppose overyonp in the