What a Wife Can Be.

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume XIII, Issue 256, 13 October 1923, Page 12

What a Wife Can Be.

(By Elinor Glyn.) I FOOL knows that a lire will not * keep alight if the fil'd is not re pleiiished beneath it. and some tires will not hum all kinds of Inel. hut require particiilar sorts ! In the tire of love it |S up to each pair to discover w hat is the right kind. Intelligent reserve is generally the best foundation to begin upon on the phvsical side, because satiation blunts emotion, and when once anything becomes cheap. of what is its value? So both should realise that they must not be expansive all Ihe timeonly al suitable moments- hut that what should go on in increasing measure ifc the sympathy and inid.er standing of character. W omen, because* they geuerallv act trout instinct, not reason, ought to sense the atmosphere and keep it harmonious. 1 remember two years ago when I was in Los Angeles, going to see the |private view ol a moving picture. 1 have forgotten the name of it. hut the storv was that a very clever doctor had discovered a serum which cured some infantile disease then ravagiing tin* citv. lie naturally had no time to take Ills wife out Io parties, as he was working in the hospitals, and as well called out. io his little patients ni.dit and dav. The wife worried and reproached him lor this! The audience was asked to sympathise with the impossible creatine who felt herseli justified—because of her husbands unavoidable pre-oceupation with duty

—in accepting the attention of a young puppy who was idle enough to pander to her whims! And while the doctor, with noble charity, was curing a poor slum child, his own baby succumbed to the disease and he could not be found in time to help it. Ami it apparently died. The wifi* then stormed and raged and reproached him for murdering her child! (The sympathy of the audience always directed to the wile, remember, not to the line, splendid doctor). He saves the child in the end, and then the wife graciously forgives him. It made me in such a rage I could hardly sit in my seat. The injustice of tin* point of view! It was, the wile who should have asked forgiveness for her narrow selfishness. All her thoughts centred upon the puny things she wanted and upon her own feelings and emotions. Never upon the splendid work the man was doing tor humanity. She was no helpmate, but a hindrance. ... 1 only quote this story as an illustration *of what I want to say about love in marriage. When a woman has the good fortune to have drawn the love of a man who is amounting to something in tire world—especially if it- is in a mental capacity when his labour helps others —she should realise that her highest happiness will be found, not in drawing his attention away from his work—but in giving him such sympathy and encouragement that he is refreshed and invigorated for new efforts. Then, indeed, in fond gratitude and respect for her true sweetness he will shower affection upon her when together they can onjov moments of leisure. That is being a true, helpmate and a true wife. But, alas! thousands of women have to marry men whose daily aim is no higher than just amassing money, and if they are tine and sensitive women, something in them unconsciously revolts against taking interest m this as an end in itself. They are subconsciously restless and resentful, while seeming to think thev are accepting everything quite naturally. Daily interest is not shared with the husband and gradually the pair drift apart. . Now the woman in this case lias a hard task before her. b'irst. she must try to keep balanced and poised, recognising what causes the vacuum in her life and the using common-sense to fill it with the best available material and endeavouring when she lias the chance to draw the man’s interest to more intellectual things.

Perhaps the happiest marriages for very busy men are with rather stupid, pretty domesticated girls, who expect nothing mental and are content with comfort and underiionstrative affection when the men have time to bestow it. There is no other partnership ever entered into with so little thought as to how it is going to work. One point of view is just to fake it as an inevitable. end to a physical attraction, which must have satisfaction and which can he dissolved if it does not prove satisfactory, no great pains need ho taken to, aid in the smooth running of the affair. Another thinks it binding. hut rushes into it with just as kittle consideration and uses no more intelligence in working it out. But if it were treated logically, and both parties to it carefully examined the evidence they possessed of the character of the other, and then when satisfied that there was a reasonable chance of hapniness because of suitability. used all their common sense to making it go well, there would lie a real chance of lasting content.—(‘‘Sunday Express.”)