ONCE ABOARD THE LUGGER.

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume X, Issue 17, 3 January 1920, Page 6

ONCE ABOARD THE LUGGER.

Geoffrey Gilbey).

Th* world is full of charitable people- 1 -There are men who will consider that 1 we are doing them a favour if we accept ] a <* on . note ot : hand without security- 1 don t know 1 vet*** note cd hand means, but without < security particularly to me. ; However, Itove i vireAmm ■»*« than the £lw t Wo piman- I throptst- For the paltry sum of one ■ todlmg and tbtee-haupence | tosandertaken to help me to write a , novel which will set todta ®“ *“*• In owe I should be charged with repairs to the roof of the Grosvenor Hotel, 11 wish to stat* that my novel has «*£et been completed. 1 have, I*»d M 7 ■ and 1 have received the following valuable advice: — ? 1. Grip your readers with a startling ftnt tin?. a X Gnr* your characters pretty and metaphors, and at*’ fiterwtims. . . ' 4. Brighten your book with pikes, and short sentences- &. Give year characters titles, ion don’t have to pay for them. 1 6. Give your book a name tint has nothing to do with its . ru you have a knowledge of French, horse-rating, or history, dis-. Above all, be topical. . It s difficult to bebere thatthi. information only coat me a shflnng, frat it is the truth- With the additional expense of 1/8 for a French grammar and sixpence for a book of jolms, I have 'begun my masterpiece as ioliJws: — . “THE SOCK-SrSPEXBEBS/’ - Chapter I.—Death.

“I’vn fciturf him,” Mid the Duchess of Xinovm, a» tee fete motort scooter at the door ut fvabhoe Grange, vhkh had been in the <*y*« ' Kteotia a since the hr** duiw landed wnu Witham the Conqueror in IUBB- i The duchess wa* greeted at. tee doorb? tee dole, a hue .old specimen -of tee anstecracy, nite his ante-pussy- ■ foot nose, and tea square jaw winch resembled a rat-proof barn- . “Come -into the anceatral bail, and > tea me of- the tragedy,** ***d We duke •*j »«■ going to faint, said the duchess. . . n “Don’!,” said the duke. Slmi <li& * With tee assistance of Gorges, the gardener, Bartholomew, tee butler, and rreddy, tee footman, the duke carried tee prostrate form of his better half and mid it on sofa in the duesni AwkwimitercamThe duke kept his head and despetebed Gorges for Dr. Castroil, *r«L dy for the family, and Bartholomew for some pre-war whisky— By the time the family had forgathered around her, the auebnss wm ooce again in the pink. " The fondly consisted of Lady Dora, the daughter, Miss Giggle, the governess, Petrograd the Pomeranian, and Bioscope, tee bulldog. “The duchess has bad a shock, said the duke- “We must take her mind off il ” . . . r ••Thank you,” said the duchess, who was renowned for her manners. “I beard a good riddle at the last dinner of Gngger Club,** said the duke. “When is a door not a door ?” “When it is ajar,” said Miss Giggle, who was well-known throughout the village for her ready repartee and sparkling wit. “Ou est la phune de ma tant,” said the beautiful Lady Dora. It should be mentioned that she had studied French for six years in Paris, and always spoke French in front of the servants. “Na poo.” said the duke, who had not forgotten all that be learnt at Cambridge. “1 win now tell you of the murder,” said the duchess.

That’s where I’m stuck.