TIDDLEY POYNTER’S CHRISTMAS PUDDING.

Hawke's Bay Tribune, 24 December 1910, Page 2 (Supplement)

TIDDLEY POYNTER’S CHRISTMAS PUDDING.

Masher Tinsley was making the Christmas duff for No. IS mess. “Something fishy about Hr's business,” Dusty whispered... "Wliy, what’s wrong with it?” asked the caterer. “AV ell, Masher’s a swanker. ’Kain’t liked by nobody, an’ work an’ ’im wa? alius deadly enemies. AVhy, then, was ’e so bloomin’ anxious to make the Christmas puddin'?” “Dunno.” said tlie other, cheerfully, “P’r’nps ’e’s a good hand at it!”

Dusty looked doubtful. “Four Christmases ago,” he said, "when I w.is aboard the Royal Quin, Tiddley Poynter, a swankin’ messmate o’ mine, done the same thing. ‘Messmates,’ ’e ses to us, a week afore Christmas, ‘let me make the Christinas duff. I'll make you a beauty—one as will stick to your ribs!' ”

Dusty paused, :ind a fighting look took possession of his features. The caterer grew impatient. “Did it stick?’’ he asked. “Stick 9 ” growled Dusty. “1 reckon it did. AA'hy, the bounder put two ounces o' tintacks in it 1” THE COAIPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON. "A merrv Kiss-Miss'” cried the dude. And drew the damsel near. She boxed h : s ears for being rude. And said: "A Happy New ’Earl”

“A sweet old song is “The. Mistletoe Bough,” murmured Algernon. “A'ou know it. of course, how the young bride, objecting or pretending to object, to being kissed under the mistletoe. decided to hid“.” “A’es..” said S''rsiphina, “and where di'l “ho mizzle to?” “Don’t- talk slang, dearest.’’ said Algernon “Do you know J never can remember whether’ the first people to kiss their xwili«nrts under the Mistletoe. were Druids <>:■ Foresters “I should sav they were Oddfellows if they didn't.” calmlv remarked Sernphina, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. You're an Oddfellow. aren't yon?” “No. dear,” said Algernon, “but to think wo are hero on Christmas Eve and there is no one ebe i>i the room, and v?t there is no wistL'to? hough hanging from the gasnli?r! If the’*? wore only a mist’etoe bough I would “Is the mistletoe really necessary?'' Sim asked shylv. It wasn't really necessary

TAA’O PROA’ERBS. Manv a man is as old as he looks, hut no man was eve 1- as big as he fee's. The woman who marries a man to letorrn him undertakes a job that will ruin her complexion.