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Hawke's Bay Herald, Volume 12, Issue 911, 21 January 1868, Page 4

"We see," said Swift, in one of his most sarcastic moods, " what God thinks of riches hy the people he gives them to." Some years ago, two doctors of the State of Massachusetts, met on the highway ; one of them, with somewhat rubicund face, riding in a ricketty old onehorse chaise, and the other in a handsome carriage, newly painted and varnished in a very good style. " Doctor," said the first, "'.I have a more extensive and lucrative practice than you, and yet I can't afford to ride in anything better than this old affair, while you have, as I see, a nice carriage, newly painted. Will you explain to me how this can he so ? " " Oh, certainly," replied the other ; that's easily done. It doesn't cost half so much to jjaint my carriage as it does to paint your lace ! " A.Negeo's Bible Leabning. — A negro, named Ephe, who was a regular attendant at church, was proud of his Bible learning. He was sawing wood one day, while his master's son, a lad about twelve years old, was looking on and now and then asking questions. Ephe asked, " Which of the Apostles do you like best ? " — "Well, I don't know," drawled the boy. '•' I like Samson," said Ephe ; "he was so strong, and piled Up dem wicked folks so." — "Why, Ephe, replied the boy, " Samson wasn't one of the Apostles." Ephe put down his saw and looked at the youngster for a moment in amazement, and then asked him, with an air of triumph, " Look here, white boy, how old am you ? "— -" Twelve," replied the boy. " Well, I'se forty ; now, who ought to know best, I ax you dat ? " Facts foe Teetotallebs. — There is one patent fact with which teetotallers, j even if they are^Hjkjt-ibese-^whcT"recetiitTy attended Jlie^Sfyptian Hall, men of educatipja/'^fiever will deny, and that is, that "^nearly half the semi-civilised world is rigidly teetotal. As a people, the natives of India not only do not get nrunk, but regard the mere tasting of liquor with a fanatical abhorrence ; yet the average of crime among them is at least as high as in England, infinitely higher than in Ireland, where men drink hard. The Turkish soldiery, who never drink, are capable of any crimes ; and all the outrages of the mutiny were committed by men who would gladly punish drunkenness with death. Is it not just possible that in untrained natures there is a crave for excitement which finds vent in drink — that liquor may be a safety-valve to the passions as well as an incitement? — Pall Mall Gazette.