Page 18 Advertisements Column 1

Hawera Star, Volume XLVI, 19 June 1926, Page 18

Defending Solicitor: “You isiay 'this man used very abusive language. Nknv, a,i<e you prepared toi swear if?'’ Witness: “Swear iit? No, I wouldn't evem, care to write it.” . ‘‘l complimented Phyllisi 0:11 lief voice once, and she haisn.it spoken to me since.'’ “What did you say?'’ “I just told her X thought she was a howling success.” ' 1 “Ah, sir,” said Mrs. Higgins plaintively to the ini mister, “since my husband has had two, parallel strokes, We haven’t been, able to, make both ends meet.” 1 Professor : ‘ ‘Name something necessary for life.” Student: “Er——’ Professor: “Correct, now n'aane a food rich in, fats,” .Student,: “But —er —” Professor: * ‘Very good. ’ ’ Tn Mexico it’s hard to tell whether it Is a .shot or just a, backfire of an automobile. Over in Italy they never know whether it is Mount . Vesuvius or Mussolini. •Suitor: “I would do any thing in my power to iprove my love for your daughter.” Father: “Would you support her?” Suitor: “My dear sir, I said anything in my power.” Old I.iadly : “I hope there won’t be any eollusionis.” Conductor: “Oh, no fear of that madam.” Old Lady: “Well, I want you to be very careful. I’ve got three dozen eggs, in this basket.” . Visitor: “Well, William, wlia.t’s happened; .since we were, here last year?” Native: .“’Einry f ’as got married.” “Oh ! T’lll glad to hear it.” “Eli? What ’arm ’as ’e done you, then?” Xiiltitli© AnKirey aiiid Hen- iiiianiianja, were riding in the car, when all of a sudden there came ai jolt, and the mother cried : “Heave usd We have run over a poor main!” But Audrey just laughed and laughed. She had looked closely at the victim’s watch—a, handsome timepiece set with diamonds, Which had landed in her lap after being: knocked from his pocket—and knew o/f course- that lie Was mot poverty-stricken. . A small hoy in the infants’ class refused to take part in a sewing lesson, which was included in the afternoon time-table. On being asked to give a reason for this extraordinary behaviour, the hoy said that ho considered sewing beneath his dignity. “But,” protested the teacher, “Lord Nelson sewed.” She took it for granted that every sailor did at times. “Surely you don’t consider yourself better than Nelson?” “I don’t know,” replied the boy. “Time alone will tell.”