HOTCH-POTCH

Hawera Star, Volume XLV, 11 July 1925, Page 18

HOTCH-POTCH

Dad was playing on the bowling green, and, intent on winning. Jim game, paid little attention to the demand of his better half, conveyed by young son, to come avva’. The lollowing are the remarks of the two: Sou : ‘ ‘.Mother, Dad says he can’t co-rne jiast now; he’ll come when licks linished the game.” Mother: “rio! And who does he think he is—Sir Francis Drake?”

Boxing was the topic of conversation at the club.' The village boaster rose to his feet. “You all know the great Joe Maloney, don’t you, boys? Well, last night, with one single blow 1 — At this moment in walked the celebrated Maloney. The boaster eyed his entrance with disapproval; then he continued: “1 reiterate, gentlemen, last night- with one single blow I blew out the candle!”

Physician: “How did the sedative powder affect your wife last night, Mr. Smith?” Mr. Smith: “Disastrously,'’ Physician: “Disastrously? Wasn’t she able to-sleep?” Mr. Smith: “Sleep! Why, the baby cried from midnight until morning, and she slept through it all.”

Jenkins called upon an old friend. He was hard up and hungry, and on his friend’s table was- a big, .fatchicken. “Are you going ‘to eat that chicken alone?” he asked, anxiously regarding the tempting bird.” “Oh, no,” the friend replied; “with spinach and potatoes ancl lots of things.”

The lady shopper had ordered almost everything to be hauled down from the shelves. “1 don’t see just the right thing,” she decided at last. “I want to -surprise my husband on bis birthday.” “Well,” suggested the exhausted clerk, “why don’t you hide behind the chair, and yell ‘Boo!’ at him!”

“What we need.” said the loudly dressed woman, “is to -get closer to Nature. We have too much artificiality. For my part, 1 simply adore Nature;. That’s why I got my husband to buy a country place.” . “B&t----you didn’t go there last summer?” “o‘h, dear, no; certainly not. We won’t be able to gp there for two or three years yet. It will require all that, time for the landscape gardener to get it in shape lor us.”

A. man was invited to. kspend a weekend at a country house. “Awfully sorry,” said his host, “but I shan't be able to come out to-d:a.y. Here's a gun and a bag of ferrets.” Later in the day the guest returned in very good humour. “Capital sport I’ve in the day the guest returned: in very had,” he remarked; “got any more?” “Any more what?’’ asked his host in surprises “Why, any more of those squirrel things you gave me. I've shot that lot.”

“The worst winter I remember was when we were in t&e trenches,'’ said the old soldier. WVe had only one bite ;a. day for two weeks, and that was bully beef.” I remember,” said his tramp companion, “living for a month on one bite, and that was out of my own leg.” “You okl cannibal! Do you expect me to believe that?” roared the soldier. “It’s, true, believe it or not,” said the tramp calmly, A dog took a bite out of my leg, and the compensation kept me like a lord for four weeks.’’