INTER ALIA

Hawera Star, Volume XLV, 2 May 1925, Page 16

INTER ALIA

(By “Ixion.”) Mr. , who ietired on W ednesday night with the knowledge that he was a mayor, awoke on Thursday morning to find that he was a little hoarse. Ratepayers feel that the question of the water .supply is one on whifah a ittle extra pies,sure should be brought to, bear. There is considerable difference of opinion as to the exact purpose of the signboards hearing the word “Welcome,” which have been erected on the South Road. One theory is that they are there to strike matches upon. Explorers in Brazil are searching for a mysterious light which, according to an Indian legend, never goes out. It was previously thought that this characteristic was peculiar to the Pa tea. street lights. A motor-car ran into and derailed a train-car in Wanganui recently. W hile deprecating these attacks, one cannot but admire the little mor tor-car for its courage.

Some scientific perspn has calculated that between morning and evening the wonter loses 10 per cent, of his energy. This, of course, does not apply to the New .Plymouth watersider.

“The Deputy Official Assignee’s office is situated close by a eabaiet, mg the week four bankrupt estates were disposed of to the strains of “I ain’t nobody’s darling.”—Star paragraph. More appropriate from -the creditors’ point of view would have been the tunc “I want some money.”

A local golfer recently lost fourteen ha ll.s. in one afternoon on the new links. It is thought best to warn intending players, in order to avoid causing them subsequent disappointment, that this is somewhat exceptional, and they cannot hope to lose this number every time.

One of the first problems to be tackled by the dairy laboratory which is to be* set up in Hawera is the settlement of the ratio and yield controversy.

In li recent dance a Hawera resident, on making 'his departure somewhat late in the evening, discovered that his hat was missing. It is presumed that it had gone on ahead.

A Ford ear was recently held up. in one of our main streets through running out of petrol. It is only fair to the Ford to mention that, other cars have been known to. stop for the same reason.

The candidates at the borough elections were evidently no believers in the party system of politics. The whole twelve of them, to a man, were in favour of progress and economy. This time-worn policy , should have been scrapped long ago. Economy has never got any town a town hall, and never will. Also this tacit agreement among candidates on points of policy is making elections dull. It would be absurd' to single out one man and throw an egg at him just because he believed in progress. Out of justice one would then lie hound to throw eggs nt all the others. It is under such circumstances that we feel the need of a good, strong, illogical Labour Party.

A consideration having an important hearing on the Greater Hawera movement is that only those ratepayers actually belonging to the borough at the time anv snecial loans are raised can he levied with the rates to pay therefor. Present ratepayers will be pleased to learn that the new council wisely intends to go ahead with the Greater Hawera movement first and consider the loan proposals afterwards.

A TALE OF TWO TESTS This hitherto unrecorded history ol the lives of Brown and Smith commences at the time they took up dairying on adjacent farms. Each man ran a iierd producing IOGOIbs of milk daily, but here the coincidence ends, for whereas Brown was kind-hearted and generous, Smith was a man who was frequently guilty of stealing his cows’ hay to put in his boots. Consequently his cows retaliated by giving only a* 3.0 test, white Brown’s gave a 4.0 test. Each day Smith took his IOOOIbs ot milk, containing 30Ibs of butter-fat, and made 831bs of cheese, a ratio, (or yield) of 2.65. All this was quite in accordance with Van Slyke, and arouses no comment. After this had been going on for one hundred days, Brown’s cows came to hear of the Control Board’s schemes to exercise absolute control over dairy-pro-duce, and, as, a protest against this unwarranted interference with the law of supply and demand, went On strike and produced no further milk. Smith's cows belonged to the same union and also struck, out of sympathy. Brown and Smith, however, did not mind greatly, as thus they were able to Work out their statistics with comparative ease.

Smith discovered that lie had received 3000 lbs. of fat, from which was made 8300 lbs. of cheese, which realised, at Is. per 'lb. £415. Manufacturing expenses were 6d. per lb. fat, leaving £340 net, which was equivalent to a pay-out of 2s 2d. Of this, farm and living expenses J:ook £339 15s, and with the remaining 5s he bought his wife a new hat.

Brown received 4000 lbs„. of fat, giving 10,600 lbs. of cheese, which, on the same basis, realised £530 gross and £430 net, equivalent to a pay-out of only 2s Id per lb fat. But he was more liberal than Smith and it cost him £341 for the Upkeep of his cows and his wife. The remaining £B9 he placed in the bank.. ; One day shortly after having worked out their milk 'statistics. Smith and Brown met at a gap in the boxthorn hedge. “Hello Brown!” called out Smith. “How much did you get for your butter-fat ?”

“Two and a penny,” replied Brown. Whereat Smith, thinking of his own return of two and two pence, leaned up against the hedge and roared with laughter. “How much have you got in the bank?” demanded Brown, somewhat piqued. “Nothing!” Smith answered between guffaws. And Brown, mindful 'of his little nest-egg of £B9, leaned against, the other side of the boxthorn and laughed till the tears rolled down his cheeks. The sun sank in the west, the stars shone out, and a pale moon looked down iinon the pair, well settled into the hedge by this time, but laughing still, Smith at Brown and Brown at Smith. But, carried away by their exuberance, they overlooked the fact that prick of the boxthorn is poisonous and there they were found in the morning, alas, both dead. Moral: Neyer confuse ratio with yield.