FLASHES!

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume I, Issue 60, 29 October 1887, Page 2

FLASHES!

Who says Te Kooti is coming ?—not us 1 If you’d seen the J Battery with their naw helmets on you would a.-ree the Hsra d wm lying—under a delusion I

The Herald say, Te Whiti i, 00mlng) tqo , Yes, find the editor never lies-his Son; soience won’t let him sleep, so he maf as w2 not lie—down I * ■

" The Native Minister i» going to put h i foot down strongly ”| | p 1 ,

If he gets his pedestal on the corns.of some people that we know, there'll be a bit of a shindy!

Anniy?' n * ha Bpring ’ tinw cometh, gefitk

But ’twas soon out in the cold, cold worlds* the naughty old rascal—with master'e boot touching his professional dignity I The " eprins-timc ’’ came all too eoon-fot very Fear he fled I

Then comes the array in force, but th« force is forestalled and forced to evacuate I Ah I an inspiration comes o’er the urie'sUv countenance of the "deerelict”—ha WncS fall on the tenant I wooa

“ Happy is the man who's dinedun. happy is the man who’s over-wined!— The noble youth said he was screwey, meanina he was»brewey ’’ f The cussed imported article caused un. priestly cusses—the tenant wonld fall on the captain—the flower-beds would ascend—the bums would rat-the macintoshes would fly—the fowls and swine would blink— can ha stand it ?—the booth envelops it all I Mistaken for the Salvation Afniy—thd Battery Band 1 Got pelted with ahegg he other night I Say they wouldn’t care so much only for the odious comparison! J Bu ? sian „ raa oals trying to coma the double again I Still got their eye on India L Sending emissaries, too, to “ not " Fstdl. nand and Stambouloff I If they did not keen up these little games some of them would ba potting the Czar instead I u u w

The other Powers getting jealous of the Suez Canal business! Tney'll be wanting some little sacrifices elsewhere now | ° Aucklanders want to get salt on the tails of the coves who salted the Waitoa I There must be a nice little nsst of aharMH concerned in that swindle ! They'll burst the bubble that waa being blown in the old country I ** John Bryce going to unseat his opponent, and won’t take the seat himself I "

That would suit us and his constituents, too—they can do with an election, and we can do without Bryce or his rival I Two Chinamen at Wellington have been fined for working on Sunday in their gardens. The Rev. W. Radcliffe is going to bus the Commissioner of Police in Melbourne for £2OOO damages for illegal arrest.

The Westport meat market is bare, and tit butchers have to import carcases from We’, lington.

The Auckland police are going for the publicans for Sunday trading. Garrard, the Auckland Dog Registrar, has “ run in ’’ the Resident Magistrate’s dog. At the recent examination of the Grey, mouth State School 93 per cent of the to'al number passed.

The Woolston (Canterbury) Charitable Aid Board pay their Secretary £B5O a yeir, Mr H. F. Gibbons, the Napier footballer, has been presented with a splendid set of carvers and a pair of salt-cellars on thi eve of his marriage.

A Norwegian engineer has succeeded in making hfe-saving apparatus out of laindeet hair. The trials have been highly sudJeMful. Whilst a waggon containing stoats and weasels was crossing the Clarence river Christchurch, it cupsized, and all the animals were drowned.

A complimentary banquet has been ten. dered to the Hon. G. Fisher, Wellington.

, The Taratahi Dairy Company are selling their cheese at 2d per lb. ’ 8

e ’ t P eo . te /? l kat the output of coil from the Westport Coal Company up to the end of the year will be 123,000 tons.

At Ashburton, the other day, Mr Olliver. R. M., said he regretted that no spacial aecommodation for dipsomaniacs 1 xisted. Lang, the slogger, has been banqueted at Wanganui. ’

The severe frost on Tuesday night dH a lot of damage to the potatoe crop throughout Hawke's Bay. °

A public meeting is to bold at TaurangS to-day to urge the Government to open up Crown and Native lands.

Drake, the bookmaker, will remain in Mol. bourne to see the Cup run. Mr Graham M.H.R., was present at the Agricultural Show at Palmerston North on Wednesday.

Sir Charles Warren, CommlssioUM 0* Police in London, gets £2,100 a year, A petition praying that relief worke be ei> tabhshed is being signed by the unemployed of Auckland.

The export of wool from Hawke's Bay this season will be less than it has been for the past seven years.

Up to the present Hawke's Bay has sub. scribed £1302 towards the Boojum-S.r Donald relief fund.

< In Wellington a bailiff seized a butcher's cart full of meat and held it until the warrant was satisfied.

The authorities have commenced purging the electoral rolls, It is expected that iq Christchurch and the sourrounding diatriotl 2000 names will be expunged.

In Melbourne on Sunday last (Hospital Sunday) the collections made amounted to £6495, being £l6OO above the amount col. lected last year.