"Bill Nye” on Newspaper Men.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume I, Issue 18, 23 July 1887, Page 4

"Bill Nye” on Newspaper Men.

A!< AMUSING LUCUBRATION. What sha’l we say of the newspaper man tvho sleeps all the forenoon in order that he may dawdle about the o.'fiee ' of a morning paper all night, thi'nkHg thoughts and pencilling them uff ior the public, or pawing around over a’ wad of “ manifold ” and writing StaTtli’li ’ heads to dull telegrams half the nigh t> while his wife, who has taken tirw e by the forelock and done her work during daylight, is in bed ? I know if, bat there are men who have been cohflCa '^ e ,d with journalism for years who znv intain that it is not a habit, but that with them.it is absolutely necessary '• J° r this reason I consulted Mr J\ ,neB Miggleson, of Asheville, who edit ’ the daily Jimplecute, a morning pap,’ l, of that place, and learned from hl.n that it is not necessary to sit up of mights in order to run a morning paper. Bo the wives and mothers of morning journalists and printers of New York should no longer be deceived by this timehonoured fraud upon their trusting natures. Mr Miggleson says that a rattling good morning paper can be worked off the press by supper-time, and the evening reserved for social intercourses.

And yet I know a pale studious newspaper man, with silver in his hair, a man in whose mouth butter would scarcely melt, who has, for twenty years or more, bamboozled his trusting wife and grown-up son with his transparent fraud He told me only a short time ago, with genuine Sathos, that the first time he had seen is own son by daylight was last autumn. He said that his son came of age last October, and through the courtesy of a mutual friend (the young man’s mother) he had the pleasure of meeting him on election day, and forming an acquaintance which he says may yet ripen into a strongfriendship

I have another acquaintance who assists in editing a morning newspaper, but he does not believe in allowing his children to utterly forget him. He does not want his boys to think ithey are orphans because he is not always at home. He is a man of very strong will and a strict disciplinarian. So he gets a holiday every two weeks in order to go home and do up his punishing. One time he found that his eldest or oldest son—l do not know which, because I am away from home without my library—had violated the rules of the house in a sad manner. As near as lam able to come at the facts, the boy had taken a quart of corn and sewn a long thread through each kernel, showing great patience and perseverance in so doing. He then tied the ends of the threads all together in one knot and scattered the corn where a large flock of geese had been in the habit of associating and pooling for mutual profit and improvement. A man who came along that way about dusk said he saw about thirty geese standing around in a circle looking reproachfully at each other and. trying to agree on some method by which they could all go home together without turning a part of their crowd wrong side out, while behind a high paling fence there was a boy who seemed to be enjoying himself in a small wav.

The incident was reported to the boy’s father, who came home and place his son under a large drygoods box in the cellar, after which he piled 3001 b. or 4001 b. of coal on top of the inverted box. He then made a few remarks for the boy’s good which, were followed by the smothered remark: “ Bats 1” from the inside of the box. After ordering that the box should not be disturbed till his return, my friend put on hie coat and went back to his work.

This was just as the returns began to return in the autumn of ’B4. My friend did not go home for two weeks and forgot all about the boy till it came time to do up his punishment for the fortnight. When the truth flashed over him he was filled with the keenest remorse, and went home as soon as he had sent in the last proof, but when he went down into the cellar he found the box empty, and the following n ote written on it with a pencil! “ Dear Paw do not weep for me i have went away from my happy home whare I was onct so gay and free do Not assassinate maw becuz she Pride up the box with a stick Of cord-wood yesterdoy and fed Me she left the box So i could Bust 4th i am gone Far Far Away do nor weap for me it is better for me and you to be Apart ennyhow it is better for me to be Apart i like being Apart a Good deal better i think I will take a ham and gar of Preserves of which I am so pashionately fond but i will Remunerate you some Day as heaven is my jug so No moar at Present ?"rom your proddigle Son Henry.

Speafiing at a public luncheon Earl Granville referred to the subject of foreign competition, which, he said, had marvellously increased of late. This was largely due to increased railway and transport facilities. It had very often been made a matter of complaint that Her Majesty’s Government did not take the same care as did foreign Governments to push the interest of their traders. This was partially true, but whilst it was all very well for the Governments of their country to act in the manner they were doing, our Government would be absolutely lost the moment they endeavoured to promote the self-interests of any particular form of trade. What was desirable, when undue pressure was exercised in favour of some foreign competitors was that the representatives of Her Majesty’s Government should take all honourable and energetic means to put the whole race of Englishmen upon a favorable footing with their foreign rivals with regard to obtaining information on commercial subjects by consular authority. He was bound to say that great progress had been made of late m this direction ; indeed, if any individual desired information on any matter of public interest touching foreign competition, the Foreign Office was prepared to render every facility, and to get its servants to report upon it t and examine into it.