FLASHES

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume I, Issue 17, 21 July 1887, Page 2

FLASHES

Recent London advices say that the quality of the New Zealand frozen mutton is decreasing ; but, alas, so is the price. Vogel worshippers gas away about Jooleyua 1 grand capacities for a Postmaster-General, but ho is ail behind Victoria. There folks can sond Id postcards to all the colonies except New Zealand! A Timaru boy named Thomas O'Leary fell down a well the other day, and was got out with a rake. Colonel. Trimble o( New Plymouth adyfl the Governor's salary might be reduces h? a thou',." but the Home Government might not like it.” Then they can do the other thing, viz., Inmp it. The Greymotith Harbour Board are going to deposit 40,060 tons of stcua at the entrance to the harbour, Here in Gisborne wo shall soon have to dredge away 40,000 tons of send at the rivers’s mouth, unless things ehange before long. Jury; an Auckland Railway rrlan, wants tB get into the House .find has inoilrteu tbfi wrath of King Maxwell 01 the Department thereon. Jury will go to the poll, and the electors will judge him. As he is a Radical, we hope he will get a favorable verdict. For real genuine generosity commend us to the Catholie denomination. No growling about pew rents there. And when their dignitaries die, they don’t leave their lucre in tlieir dwri families, But give it to tae church, e.g,,the late Monsignor Fyne whjj has left £l9,ooo'to the Catholics of Auckland. A very fine fellow. When Seed, late Inspector-General 01 Customs (now pensioner of the taxpayers at £6OO a year) resigned, .his fellowtestinonialiZed him with a 170os solid silver tea set, A Britannia metal teapot at 8s 6d does for taxpayers. Six large shields of thick steal are being manufactured for the Defence Department. Our only general Georgy will get behind the biggest of them when " them Booshians come." When the G.0.M., not Grey hut Gladstone, goes out wood chopping in the Haowarden woods, he is not called the G.0.M., but * first-rate feller. Cheek! We had a spacial wire on Tuesday about the Langworthy ease and wrote a little par. elucidating the matter. This the Poverty Bay Herald cleverly cribbed at night, hardly troubling to alter the wording of it. They never break the eighth commandment about telegrams, oh dear no I More cheek. A little wire from oul special correspondent at Masterton about a football match and its pugilistic ending, our friends of the Herald “ bagged ” on Tuesday night in the most unblushing manner. We shall be glad to supply them with leaders, locals, and other news—terms on application to Standard.

Sir " Ohewlyus Fon Harst ” has returned to the Land of the Moa. We shall soon hear some “ moa ” of this eminent scientist and tuft hunting bird-stuffer I Harwood, a Wellington sculler, who bluffed a few days ago about giving Hearn a “ chuck out ” has “ duffed ” and the Wellington champion is likely to go to Sydney unchallenged. France will show up at the Melbourne Exhibition next year, if she hasn't a “ blow up” at home before then. The Herald says of the N.Z. village settler that he is bound to the soil like a Russian “ surf.” The Herald editor must have been “ at sea ” when he spelt the word that way. Major Atkinson will very likely be beatan by Felix McGuire of Hawera, and the Tory Press are weeping and wailing in advance. Poor fellows 1 Rangitikei possesses a cocksure conceited sort of young member in tue shape of Mr Bruce, who is a shining light at Y.M.C.A. meetings, “ bun and crumpet scrambles ” and the like. Bruce tried to orate at Ohristohuroh the other night on Political Reform, but ths Christchurch elect virtually said ” teach your grandmother to suck eggs ” and the Scottish* Atkinsonian hero had to retire. A Wellington fishmonger was fined the other day for selling fish unfit for food. At some of the Wellington hotels, however, they often sell food unfit for fish. Says London Vanity Fair in its advertising columns, “Mrs Samuels, having left off clothing of every description, respectfully invites inspection.” If the Standard printed a par like that Sergt. Bullen would soon call around. Samuel Smith, a dyer, has done his last “ dying ” transaction at Dunedin. Cut his throat while in drink, and died from loss ot blood. Re Bellamy’s that resort of the 11 whisky beeodden legislators ’’ as Mr Intemperate Glover, of the Alliance, calls them : a wicked man says the Government recently paid £lOO insurance out of the Colonial Exchequer on wine in Bellamy’s vaults. Another Wellington story is that Civil Service “ toffs ” who are short of crockery, burrow Bellamy’s plate and china, and that the breakage and the stolen spoons are paid for by the public. " It’s only what I’ve been told you know.” Bishop Suter, of Nelson, a well-meaning, but half-cracked ecclesiastic accuses the Irish Catholic Bishops of “ abetting assassination.” This is tbe result of subscribing to the London Times. The Adelaide Register joolibated its “ oele* bree ” last week. Fat stock is rapidly advancing in price in the Taranaki district. Blenheim is borrowing £14,000 for gal. Most boroughs borrow by " gassing.” Donovan, the light weight, recently of Oil* borne, has opened a tobacco shop in Auckland. He sells hia “baoca” there, he sold his “ backers " here. The Sunbeam, with Lord and Lady Brasaey cannot visit New Zealand this trip, bat Aucklanders will have a gushing over Lady B. and her “ dear Tom " next year, when they return to do Samoa and Tahiti. A dividend of 5s in the £ (first and final) in the bankrupt estate ot Walter J. Leslie, late Editor of the Poverty Bay Herald, ie an* nounced as payable in Wellington.