THE EDUCATION OF YOUR CHILD

Grey River Argus, 21 March 1940, Page 9

THE EDUCATION OF YOUR CHILD

By

H. C. D. Somerset.

Community Centre, Fielding,

Children’s Questions.

AM parents hone that as their children grow up they wi l ' able to share their thoughts and guide them past the pitfalls of young adulthood. No one knows how to love a child like a parent—and no one, they say, can advise better. Yet how often parents complain that they don’t really know their children, that they have grown away from them, that the children never seek parental guidance. If you are one of those disappointed and really bitter parents of a growing family, look for a moment into the way you have discharged your parental! duties. It is a hundred to one that the fault is really yours. Where Trouble Begins. The trouble begins usually at the point where the child begins to askquestions. It is a difficult time beginning in the child's third year. You have been through it, I tmow. “Wlio is that man, Daddy?” ‘'What Is he doing?” ‘‘Where is he going?” ‘‘Why 'is he going there?” There is only one course for Daddy, and that is to answer every question carefully and exactly. Nothing but the truth satisfies the child; he can detect a lie tar more easily than you can. .Tell him lies and he begins to lose confidence in you. Soon he finds that it is no use asking you anything at ail-—he H only be’put off with something Polish.’ From that moment on yt /Jo ( j your parent-right. It is quite that the other adults of the family| circle behave in the same way so that there is nothing for the child to do nut to shut himself up within himself and use his eyes and ears QUtside the family circle. This, of course, is far more likely to happen with the eldest than with later children, and with a bright child rather than with a dull one.

An Inevitable' Question.

Then there comes a day when the child asks: “Where did you get me, Mother?”. The mother should answer quite simply: “You grew inside me, dear, and when you were big enough —why you just came out and Mother had a little 'boy of her own.” An'enlightened mother of my acqua ntance who used this sentence related how her child’s eyes opened and sparkled with understanding. The Question was never repeated. He knew wfiut he required to know. Children know that stories about storks and gooseberry bushes are alj untrue—-and Me confusion they create- is a hindrance to their development. .The hallashamed secrecy surround.ng b rth is the big barrier that arises between parents and their children. Some day I shall try to explain in this column some of the social evils of our (lay traceable to this foolish prudiry.

Later Knowledge. More detailed questions about the origin of life are not asked until about the seventh or eighth year. When they crop up the child is ready for the simple truth. There is a dlfculty in the fact that in the meantime he has been associating . w-th other children at school and in h.s play, and he may have received information from a tainted stream. Sometimes parents are inclined to keep their children away from others in case they acquire knowledge before it is due: th’s is not w;Se as children must get a social sense at all costs. Parents can overcome the danger of the gutter by making the home the centre of truth—and the child will turn to his parents for his knowledge if he can approach them without reserve.

Avoid Undue Prominence.

The important thing to remember about sexual ■X nowled S e is lhat n must not be given undue prominence. After all, these facts are of the- saw irder as every other one we have to acquire. The stress put upon them i.~ due to our own disharmony in matters of this kind. How many of us found out about it from healthy sources? I No Ceremonial Instruction. For this reason, all ceremonial instruction should be avoided. I don't think that lessons given by speciallyappointed and self-appointed people do any good.. They focus the attention and make a Star Chamber matter of biological facts as ordinary as, breathing. There should be no taking of the child aside for a private parental talk. The akwardness of the parent on such occasions makes a mystery where none should be.

Difficulties of Adolescence.

During adolescence, that is, speaking generally, in the ’teens, a host of difficulties and questions of aH| kinds crop up in the mind of youthquestions of life' and death —of ie-| ligion—of love and marriage. It. is then that parents should be the real friends of their children, but it is then that most parents feel themselves so estranged from them. It will be a comforting thought -o parents ot voung children to know that the attitude of the child during his first five years returns in the 'teens. in other words, if your youngster of 4 0.-j 5 trusts you and if you answer his questions honestly, the chances are that, whatever happens in between, he will return to you again for « u - -‘ ance when he is approaching adulthood. So for Heaven’s sake don’t pm your clrild off with something f ol sn —answer him simply and truthfu iy.