HE. XMAS HUMOR.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 3711, 21 December 1912, Page 25

HE.

XMAS HUMOR.

master,_ dear,” the hoy faltered, for the mlins racked him sorely. “You are the master,” whispered the girl ; “sleep, dearest, sleep. 1 can hol'd your hand while you rest. Get well, for my sake.” “But —but —ah, what is that sound?” His ears, sharpened by pain, caught distant and very faint musio in the air.

“The Waringdale church bells.’' She guessed at a venture, and guessed rightly. “Remember, darling, it is Christmas Day. The day of Birth.” “The birth of happiness for me and you,” sighed the Jackeroo, and fell asleep, to waken to a new and joyous life with Alice evermore by his side.

Were I a little honey bee, A-wing for dainty sips, I’d light upon you, door, and draw Tlie honey from your lips. SHE. Were you a little honey bee , (She could not hold her tongue), And I had aught to do with you, I know that I’d be stung.

HE KNEW

The guests at a Christmas party, as a compliment to the host and hostess, waxed clamorous to see the four-year-old son and heir. The young gentleman, having been taken out of bed and carried into the festive arena, stared sleepily at the ladies and gentlemen, and then, fixing his e3 T es on the remainder of the pudding, essayed to speak. The youngster was famed for smartness, and th ecompany was all attention.’ The darling lisped. “I know where that puddin’ was failed, and I know what it was biled in.” . , , . ••'Hush, my dear!” gasped the terrified mamma, anxious to avert the threatened disclosures. “No, I won’t hush,:” exclaimed the irrepresible. “Ma tied it up in pas old shirt, and boiled it in the copper where pa biles the lumps of gee-gees for the how-wows in the kennel.” POLITE. Thev were dining out on Christmas Day. ~ ‘But. Henry.” she protested. f * vou know you shouldn't drink coffee at night. It keeps you awake.” “Oh, well,” he replied, with a polite how to the hostess, “this coffee won’t ” A CHRISTMAS WAIT. It was a quiet country road, and a quiet and sorrowful-looking man sat despairingly in the large motor that was drawn up near the hedge. Then the other man came by in his car, and, being a sympathetic person, inquired what was the matter.

“How long have you been here?”“Several hours.” “What’s the matter? Valves all right?” “Oh, yes; they’re 0 K!” “Any trouble with the sparkingplug?’’ “No; it seems all right.” “How are your batteries?” “Working very well. It isn’t that at all, but——” , “Got plenty of petrol? I can give you some if .you’ve run out.” “Thanks very much, but there’s really nothing wrong with the ear!” “Well, what the deuce is the matter. then?” “Why, you see, my wife is in that house opposite, kissing her sister’s first baby. She’s been at it ever since ten o’clock. When she's clone, I reckon we’ll go homo and have our Christmas dinner. I’m getting peckish!”

Gus de Smith: Do you know my father, Miss Birdie? Miss Bardie : I never met him, but I believe lie is a very modest, unassuming sort of man. Gus do Smith: You’re right. You can get some kind of on idea of bow unostentatious he is when T tell you he does not brag about having me for a son.