CHOOSING A HUSBAND.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXX, Issue 3592, 3 August 1912, Page 4

CHOOSING A HUSBAND.

THE' TWO ESSENTIAL RULES

The story of the life of an Indian ruler—“An Account of My Life,” by her Highness Nawab Sultan Jahan Begam, ruler of Bhopal—contains the following interesting passages regarding Maliommedan marriages. ' “In most Indian families it is still customary for parents to arrange the marriages of their children. And it is right that they should do so. For happiness in later life depends upon the existence of sympathy and love between husband and wife; and since : none can understand the nature and temperament of a child or forecast its future more clearly than its own parents, it follows that they alone are competent to decide a matter on which the welfare of their children so i largely depends. “In well-to-do families of tho upper classes it is considered more important that tho husband should be'of good birth that that he should possess wealth and learning, since the former is a surer guarantee of nobility than the latter, and offers a truer support amid the difficulties of life; and it may often he observed that the traditions which accompany noble birth will • save man from the evils into which il- ' literacy and poverty might otherwise | plunge him- | “For this reason the pedigree of a 1 would-be son-in-law is always investi- ' gated with the greatest care; and, al- | though this task is often . beset with many difficulties, its performance is not only expedient hut is strictly enjoined by the laws of Islam. THRIFTY SON-IN-LAW. i “Next to gentle birth, the most desirable quality in a son-in.-law is thrift; and on this point, too, the doctrines of Islam lay considerable stress; ex- ! t ravagance being stigmatised as a | crime of sufficient blackness to justify a wife in leaving her husband. And there can be no doubt that prodigality on the-part of a husband destroys the ’ ponce of mind of the wife, brings cle- , solution on the household, and saps , the joys of married life. ~ | “But if extravagance is a crime in a ‘ private individual, how much more is it so wlierixjlisplaye'd'hy the consort of a ruler, who, besides being responsible ' for the well-being of her,own household, has also the control of public

revenue, and is therefore indirectly, if not directly, responsible for the happiness and well-being of every family in her territories ? DUTIES OF A WIDOW. “In selecting my husband, therefore, noble birth and a frugal disposition were the first considerations kept in view. . . . .” A widow m Bhopal, the Be gam remarks lias to keep strict rules which Islam imposes during the period of mourning. The period is four months and ten days, and during this time no new garments, ornaments, or bright colors should be worn. A widow is even forbidden the use of oil for the hair. “Except in cases of tho most, urgent necessity, she is prohibited from leaving the house in which her husband's death has taken place, and from holding communication with any hut her closest relations. From this last rule, owing to my duties and position as a ruler, I was obliged to consider myself exempt; but all the others I faithfully observed.”