MARRIAGES OFF

Greymouth Evening Star, 24 December 1934, Page 5

MARRIAGES OFF

SEVENTY BROKEN ROMANCES. Bremen engagements announced during the past few days bring the total this year to nearly 70, states the "Daily Mail.” None of the 70 was the “unofficial” kind of engagement, the “private understanding” which is easy enough—it painful—to bring to an end: they were all 'serious undertakings, formally announced. In most of the cases congratulations had been & received, wedding plans laid. Many of the 68 brideselect had already received a fine flock of wedding presents. A few of them had had the first fitting of their wedding gown. Thon that little announcement in the newspapers, “The marriage arranged between and —— will not take place.” What is the reason for it all? A generation ago a broken engagement was looked on as almost a disgrace. Even 20 years ago a sort of stigma was supposed to attach itself to any girl who had been formally engaged and was so no longer. Men steered a little clear of that kind of girl. It was bad for her prestige. Nowadays young men and women seem to break their troth easily, no matter how publicly it has been plighted, or how much embarrassment they might be supposed to face. It is no longer considered anything to make a. great fuss about. —though parents still deplore it. Some successful brides flaunt as many as three or four previous engagements as a proof of their attractiveness.

Older people easily jump to the conclusion that young people nowadays undertake engagements to marry in an unbecomingly flippant manner. It is not, however, entirely that — if you take the trouble to question a few of the young women now weathering the storms of a. broken engagement. Far from being flippant, they are very sensible and candid. Their attitude to what an engagement is supposed to stand for has changed—that’s all. It is no longer, they believe (and who shall contradict them?), -a binding vow to marry, come what may. It still takes infinite courage to return wedding presents, write countless uncomfortable letters to relations and friends, and explain away a thousand inquisitive questions. Unlike their mothers, however, modern young women do it rather than risk making a failure of their marriage.- The engagement is no longer an unbreakable covenant, but a time of trial. Women do not count so desperately on getting married nowadays that they arc* afraid of refusing to take a husband when they have decided ho is not the one they want. A few years ago a man was a .“cad” who told his fiancee in time

that he did not really love her. No girl was expected to survive the awful “disgrace,” and young men thought it a point, of honour to go through with the marriage to which they were committed, no matter how clearly they saw their earlier mistake. That is another piece of nonsense that has almost evaporated in modern society. There is so good an understanding between young men and women nowadays that it is quite possible for a prospective bridegroom to say, “I’ve been thinking it all over seriously, and I don’t believe we shall make a go of it,” and not to be branded as a bounder or break a poor girl’s heart. They will probably stay excellent friends and both make a happy marriage later on. The -wave of broken engagements—at least, according to some of the young people who have survived them —is by no means a sign of frivolity about a serious matter. It is on the contrary, a sure sign of common sense and genuine seriousness —tho frankness of a. generation that has seen too many unhappy marriages among its elders to risk making the same mistakes.