DUNMOW FLITCH

Greymouth Evening Star, 11 August 1930, Page 7

DUNMOW FLITCH

RESULT OF ANNUAL “TRIAL.” The-' annual “trial” for the Dunniow flitch of bacon, at which the claimants are required to prove that they have neither regretted their marriage nor quarrelled for the past year and a day, took place at Gordon Grounds, Ilford, Essex, in June. The claimants were cross-examined by counsel before a jury of spinsters and bachelors, the judge being Mr Tom Webster, the “Daily Mai!” cartoonist.

Mr Webster awarded the flitch to Mr V. La Touche M.P., Mayor of Walthamstow, and the Mayoress, who proved, to the satisfaction of the jury that they had not quarreled for the prescribed period. The judge, looking very hot. in a scarlet, robe and lull-bottomed wig, spent much of the time surreptitiously drawing cartoons of the claimants. But he gave a masterly and witty summing up at the end of the case, although it had no effect at all on the jury of six pretty spinsters and six handsome young men.

There were three couples anxious to prove that they had never regretted their marriages. Mr McEntee and his wife were represented by Mr Tom Groves, M.P., who was assisted b.v the Rev. Herbert. Dunnico, the deputy-chairman of the House of Commons. But it was Mr Jack Hayes. M.P., Vice-Chamberlain of the Royal Household, counsel for the flitch, who gave the Mayor and Mayoress an uncomfortable half-hour as they stood in the witness-box —an iron fender draped with a green cloth.

Mr Hayes (addressing the MayorU You arc a public man? The Mayor: Yes.

You were not satisfied with public life on your own, so you took a wife? Yes.

You say you have never quarrelled with your wife? —No. But you are very rarely at home, so you could not very well.

Do you write anything?—l have written poetry. I have it nowhere stated on my brief that poetry is one of the crimes you arc guilty of. Did you woo your wife with poetry? —No; 1 wrote it after 1 was married.

Mr McEntee said he was born in Kingston, County Dublin.

The “judge,” after congratulating the jury upon sitting so patiently for two hours in a hot Court, said; — — “This flitch of bacon is a sacred tiling. It. is, 1 believe, got from a pig which has devoted its life to this historic event. Now (be pig being dead he is. as far as I can see. the only one who is on the level. “I remember as a boy reading Haus Anderson’s fairy tales, but after listening to these stories to-day I have come to the conclusion that 'Mr Anderson was a novice. Before you ladies and gentlemen of the jury retire, to consider your verdict, I should like to point out. respectfully to you to be careful how you split, up. for one day you might he in the witness box instead <>f in Hie jury box.” 3'llo other successful claimants, who were awarded half a flitch, were John B. Vincent, aged 50, and his wifo Catherine, and Mr Henry Asher Levy, aged 32. and his wife Julia.