WEEK-END CHAT

Greymouth Evening Star, 13 June 1925, Page 8

WEEK-END CHAT

GRAIN AND CHA FF. (By “Mackay”). “Self interest is but the survival ol the animal in us. Jlumanity begins for man with self surrender.” “The grand essentials of happiness are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” “As each step on a staircase lifts our feet and makes us ready lor the next advance, so the faithful doing of the duties of each day tits us fot< those which the next day has in store.” Reefton Father (lecturing wild son) : “Suppose 1 should be taken away suddenly, what would become of you ?” “Oh, I'd be here, guv’nor! The question is, what would become of you?” was the reply. At one Coast church recently, the preacher was nervous, but interesting. He was making an eloquent plea for home life, and was descanting eloquently on the evils of the club, tell-

■ing his congregation that married men in particular should spend their evenings with their wives and children. “Think, my friends,” he said, “of a poor neglected wife, all alone in the great dreary house, rocking the cradle of her sleeping babe with one foot and wiping away her tears with the other!” A proud Greyrnouth mother took her son, aged six years, to be photographed at a Mawhera Quay studio. Arriving at the studio, the child suddenly began to cry. It was impossible to calm him, impossible to keep him in tho chair. For an hour he filled the place with his howls and yells, running wildly about the room. “But, Johnnie,” said his mother, “the gentleman isn’t going to hurt you! Just smile and keep still for a moment, and it will be all over before you know it!” “Yes,” exclaimed the youngster, amid his tears, “yes, I know. That’s what you told me at the dentist’s!” The story is told of a farmer who had a “bite” of a wife. It was not without a certain measure of that one morning he discovered her’ hanging from an apple tree in the orchard. He took another wife who also'

proved a virago, and, amazing to relate, she also hanged herself, and from the same tree. “Did he marry again ?” asked the friend of the narrator of the story. “No, but all the neighbouring farm, cis came round and took cuttings from ilrit tree.’’ A Coaster on a holiday visit to a, Noilh Island town slopped in front of a building and aeked an old

man who was leaning against; tne iauings what it was, . ~ “This is the public library, sir, was the reply. “Heaven bless Mi Carnegie, sir! He it was who gave us this beautiful library, sir.” “I’m glad to see you appreciate it, said the Coaster, surprised at the old man’s enthusiasm, “but you don’t look like a man of literary tastes.” •'Oh, no, sir,” retorted the other, “I don’t use the library, but my oid woman gets the job o’ cleanin’ it out.” The following questions and answers are reported to have been exchanged at a Coast school during a nature study class: — ‘‘How do you get down off an elephant ?” “You climb down.” “Wrong!” )( “You take a. ladder and get down.” “Wrong!” “You grease his sides and slide down. ” “Wrong!” “Well, you take the trunk lino down. ” “No, not quite. You don’t get down off an elephant; you get it olf a goose.” “I’ll attend to you in. a minute! was the usual remark of a certain Hokitika mother to any of her children who were naughty, and the delinquent knew that this usually meant a whipping. One day she sent her four-year-old son to the grocer’s for some flour. It was his first errand, and, much to his mother’s) surprise, he returned empty

handed. “Where’s the flour?” she asked. “I—l didn’t get it,” replied, the youngster. “I was frightened at the man.” “Nonsense, he won’t hurt you,” said the mother. “Go back at once and get the flour.”

; But again the boy came back without ’ it, and this time his eyes wore hill of tears. i “What’s the 'matter?” asked the mother, anxiously. “800-o-boo-o!” wailed the little messenger, “I’m frightened at that man. , Each time I went in he said, ‘AU i right; sonny, I’ll tend to you in a min- • ute’ !”