TAKING NO RISKS.

Golden Bay Argus, Volume XIII, Issue 51, 19 May 1910, Page 3

TAKING NO RISKS.

While the members of a certain cricket team were journeying to fulfil an engagement, the sorry pair of horses attached to the conveyance which they had hired came in for a good deal of adverse criticism.

"1 say, driver," at length remarked the captain of the team, “‘you've got a whip—just touch 'em up a bit. At this rate we shall never reach our destination."

The driver explained that he had never had occasion to drive that particular pair ot horses before. "As you remark," he added, "I’ve got a whip, but 1 don't like to take the risk o' using it r" "I see," was the grim rejoinder. “You’re afraid of knocking 'em down eh ? Very well. Here's sixpence for you. That ought to cover the damage if you do knock ’em down. Now then, hammer away.”

SEYMOUR HICKS AND THE DUBLIN JARVEY. My wife and I were sitting od a jaunting-car, driving through the Irish capital, and, coming to a handsome building, and never having been in Dublin before, my wife asked the jarvey what it was. He said, "Ah, shure, that’s the Bank of Oireland where the English put the money they take from us.” She said, "Oh, indeed !’’ Looking up, we saw the six statues that surrounded the top of the structure, so I said to Pat, " Who are those statues of ?”

He replied, "Begorra ! they’re the twelve apostles.”

My wife, who has a wonderful head for figures, immediately remarked, "But there are only six !’’ "Ah, shure, that’s right enough,” replied the jarvey sententiously, "the others are having lunch with the Lord-Lieutenant."--.Seymour Hicks in .'.'Pearson’s Magazine.”