A BRITISH TOURIST IN AMERICA.

Golden Bay Argus, Volume XII, Issue 46, 14 April 1910, Page 3

A BRITISH TOURIST IN AMERICA.

A ludicrous story is told at the expense of the scribes who visit America with the intention of filling a hook as to the lawlessness there rampant, Two men were seated at a table in a restaurant. ” May I ask you for the menu ?” said one with a bristling moustache, pointing to the bill of fare. “You may sir,” replied the other, "'and I will oblige you ; but I’m not a waiter.” “Maybe not, sir," returned, the other ; “ yet if you had requested such a favour of me, I should have takeD pleasure in complying.” “Quite likely. Some men are born that. way. They would not mind being takeD for a waiter.” "‘And some men are born boors. They couldn't be gentlemen if they tried !” “Do you think you’d know a gentleman if you happened to meet one?” “1 think I should. He’d look as different from you as he possibly could !” "‘Here. J say, who began this conversation, you baboon-faced barian ! 1 asked you in a civil way if you would he kind enough to hand me the bill of fare, and you insulted me. You haven’t the manners or decency of a ” “You can’t talk that way to me and live ! I’ll —— ” “Don’t you do it. If you move your hand one inch nearer your hip-pocket I’ll fill you full of holes !” The other thrust his hand into his hip-pocket, pulled out a silk handkerchief, wiped his eye-glasses, picked up a paper and began to read it. Then the man with the bristling moustache turned to an English author who had been sitting at the next table listening with horror to the conversation. “We thought you’d like to have a l.ittle exhibition of our native freedom of manners,” he said pleasantly, “to use In your forthcoming book, don’t.you know !”