Bill Nye at a Place Where Two Roads Fork.

Golden Bay Argus, Volume 4, Issue 37, 8 February 1895, Page 3

Bill Nye at a Place Where Two Roads Fork.

We are moving about over the connti James Whitcomb Riley and I, in the cnpavii of a moral and spectacular show. 1 attend i the spectacular part of the business. This more in my line.

I am writing this at an imitation hot where the roads fork. I will call it Fifi Avenue Hotel because the hotel at a raPro." junction is generally called the Fifth Avon* or the Gem City House or the Palace TTot. I stopped at an inn some years since e d the Palace, and I can truly say that if it I . ever been a palace it was very much ri. down when I visited it.

Justus the fond parent of a white eyed two-legged freak of nature loves to name lr mentally-diluted son, Napoleon, ai d for tl same reason that a prominent hoi sc owner i Illinois last year socked my name-on a tal buckskin-colored colt that did not rcsembii me, intellectually or physically, a colt tier did not know enough to go around a barbed wire fence, but sought to sift himself throne 1 it into an untimely grave, so this man If.. named his swaybaeked wigwam the Fift. Avenue Hotel. It is different from the Fifth avenue it many ways. In the first place there is no so much travel and business in its ncighboi hood. As I sa d before, this is where two rail roads fork, in fact that is the leadim industry here. The growth of the town i naturally slow, but it is a‘ healthy growth There is nothing in the nature of dangenu or wild-cat speculation in the advancemeo of this place, and while there has been n noticeable or rapid advance in the principn business, there has been no falling off at al-i and these roads are forking ns much to-day as they did before the war. while the saimthree men who were present for the first glad moment are still here to witness its operation.

‘Sometimes a train is derailed, as the papers call it, and two or three people have to remain over ns we did all night. It ism such a time that the Fifth Avenue Hotel iv the scene of great excitement. A large codfish, with a broad and sunny smile and his bosom full of rock salt, is tied in the creek to freshen and fit himself for the responsible position of floor manager ctf the codfish ball, i A pale chambermaid, wearing a black jersey with large pores in it through which she is gently percolating, now goes joyously up the stairs to make the little post-office lock-box rooms look ten times worse than they ever did before. She warbles a low ro frain as she nimbly knocks loose the venerable’; dust of centuries and sots it afloat thioughuut' the rooms. All is bustle about the house. Especially the chainbcrnftiid. We were put in the guesls’ chamber's hi to. , It hue two atrophied beds mode up of paneland counterpanes. This last remark conveys to the reader t h< presence of a light, joyous feeling which Lwholly assumed on my'part. j The door of our room ls.fujj of holes wJreri lock's have been Wrenched off in order to let' the coroner in. • Last night Leonid imagiiu that I was in the act of meeting, personally the famous people who have tried to slctq here and who moaned through the night aut who died while waiting for the dawn. I have no doubt in the world but there b quite.a good-sized delegation from this hole of guests who hesitated about corn mitt in suicide, because they feared to tread them! hot sidewalks of perditiou, but who beenn. desperate at lust and resolved to take tliei • chances, and they have never had any causi to regret it. We washed our hands on doorknob soaj wiped them on a slippery 7 elm court plasr. j that had made quite a reputation for itsr under the nom deplume of “ Towel,” tried t, warm ourselves at a pocket inkstand >tov that gave out heat like a dark lantern am had a deformed elbow at the back of it. The chambermaid is very versatile, an waits on the table while not engaged in ag' tating the overworked mattresses and pun pillows upstairs. In this way she impart tho odor of fried pork to the pillow cases am | kerosene to the pie. She has a wild, nervous and apprehensivi look in her eye as though she feared the some herculean guest might seize her in hi great, strong arms and bear her away to : justice of the peace and marry her. She cot tainly cannot fully realize how thorough!, secure she is from such a calamity. She i just as safe ns she was forty years ago, who she promised her aged mother that she won 1> never elope with anyone. Still, she is sociable at times and converst freely with me at table, as she leans over m shoulder, pensively brushing-the (.rumba ini my lap with a gene rat ttility towel, whic accompanies her in her various ramble through-the house, and’she asks which w would rather have —“ ten or eggs ?” This afternoon we will pay our bill, in ec cordance with a life-long custom of mus, am go away-to permeate the busy haunts of mt r It will be sad to tear ourselves away froi the Fifth Avenue Hotel at this place ; stili there is no great loss without somesmal I gait, and at our next hotel we may not have 1> chop our own wood and bring It up-stab when we want to rest. The landlord of hotel who goes away to a political mectii, and leaves his guests to chop tlmir own woo. and then charges thejrn full price for the ren of a boisterous ami tempest-tossed bed, wi never endear himself to those with whom is thrown in contact. Wo leave at 2:110 this afternm n. liopii, that the two railroads may con tin: e to fot here just the same as though wc had i\ mained. “ Will you give me a drink, madam ? begged the tramp. “lean give you a drink of water,” sh said. “ Well,” he said, after some consideratioi “ water’ll do, if you can give me an old t. mato can to drinkjfrom. I’rifia poor and low wreck, madam,” he concluded with patlio “ but, thank heaven, I have still left the ren nants of what was at one time considevi the finest imagination in the country wlici I was bom I” General Beaver- Governor - elect t of Pennsylvania, during his recent campan was asked by a colored negro to subset i for the Pittsburg Broad Axe. The price one dollar a year. General Beaver handt the editor twenty dollars, expecting ninotc dollars in change. He was presented wit ■ the following: Received from Genet; Beaver, for twenty years’ subscription. S2O “If you’re dead the paper’ll still go on. said the colored man to the astonishc general. . * “ Pat.” said a, gentleman to his servant “I do not wish to be disturbed to-day, am if"anyono calls give him an evasive answer.’ “ T will,” was the reply,. In the evenin the gentleman asked : “ Did anyone call to day?” “Yes, sir,” was the reply. “What did you say?" “I gave him an evasivi answer.” “What was it?” “I axed him was his grandmother a monkey.” A Funny story is told of a noted Eng lish clergyman now travelling in the Earn. He is said to have rewarded his dragoman at liberally that that worthy was enabled on the strength of it to purchase an additional wife. One may more easily imagine than describe the horror of the ecclesiastic when Ik discovered that he had aided and abetted hia servant in nolveramv. .

you not more confidence la - Bis hoafct and more faith in his love?” said Gertie, going over.to her Bister and laying her hand on her shoulder.

‘‘How oan I? Why does he leave me? Where does he go ? He oannot spend every evening at the olab, When we were married he thought me more pleasant company than the gentlemen at the olub; but he doea not now. It la not the olub, Gertie, that drawn him away; I know it iB not. But he shall know that it he soorns my love I will not bear it meekly ; I will not be satisfied with a •tinted place in hits heart. He must love me wholly, as I love him; for he is mine, though he does not treat me as if he were," said Sibyl, her mood changing rapidly, and the latter words being spoken with the omphaßis whioh sometimes marks the Bpeech of a woman who passionately loves, and is at the same time insanely jealous. The arrival of visitors put an end to the conversation between the sistors; aDd as Mrs, Gough did not re-open the subject that day, Gertie did not think it prudent to offer and more or her wis6 but praotioally useless adv’oe.

Notwithstanding Mrs. Gough's suspicions as to her hueband’s truth, the practloal, common-sense Gertie's opinion of her oonduot remained unaltered. She knew that Sibyl herself had occasioned the change in Albert's demeanour of whioh she complained so bitterly. Her love had a sploe of tyranny in it. She would have the object of her affection to become and oontinue her slave, and the slavish devotion she required was of the most abjsot kind. She possessed many admirable qualities, but with them all she was intensely selfish when her ofDotion was engaged. She laoked ihat strain of worldly wisdom whioh leads a person to deal with ordinary affairs of life in a sy'mpethetio spirit, and therefore, though she might be a oompanion. she oould never be a helpmeet, a support and a solace to a man of the world, as a true wife should be. Her love was real and fervid,, but it was too exacting in all the less important circumstances of life. She felt that her husband cou'ld hardly entertain a thought with propriety of whioh she was not the object, direotly or indirectly.

When she found that business matters really did engage a great deal of his attention she was blind to the neoessifcy of the anxieties that are never separable from men gaged in more or less hazardous moneyking pursuits. Her jealousy attributed ...uh divided attention to other oauses, and * e was oonstant in her peevieh bickerings, .e‘ oomplainings, and upbraiding?, until her tx sband oould not regard home as a place where be would meet with loving sympathy in any of the troubles by whioh he was beset, but a place where he would be subjeoted to a torture that maddened him, while he was expected to love and fondle the torturer.

During the first year of his married life Albert Gough appeared to have fallen npon unlucky times. No business in whioh he engaged appeared to prosper. The first few losses only led to preator ventures in the hope of repairing them; and when some of the greater ventures failed, the whole of his moderate fortune was involved, and absolute ruin stared him blankly in the face. In this strait of fortune he found no adviser, no counsellor, and no sympathizer in hia wife. She had so often displayed only Deemah impatience and half-expressed disbelief when he mentioned suoh projeots, that he now avoided her as muoh as possible, and sought the necessary distraction of his thoughts in other plaoes. About a week after the conversation we have reported bad taken place, Albert Gough arrived at his home two hours later than usual, and looking uncommonly serious end depressed. “ Why are you so late to-day, Albert ? I have deferred dinner an hour. I suppose it is booause you knew I speoially wished to have you with me this evening, if you oould epare your wife an hour from your other engagements. Ib that the oause of your lateness?”

“ No, Sibyl. Do not harass me with your peevish questions and complaints at present. Something serious may happen if you do. I am driven to the verge cf madness,” said Albert; and his gloomy but unsettled looks bore out hia words.

“You oan feel for yourself, Albert, but you oannot spare a thought for me. Your noglect has driven me fc'o the verge of madness, but I suppose that is only a trifling matter. What should make you mad ?” “Ruin, woman. That is a word you will not understand. But it has a meaning, Sibyl, and I tell you I am a ruined man,” oried Albert, in tones that shocked Gertrude, who was in the room.

“ The story of threatened ruin has beoome quite familiar to me, Albert. You appear to have been going to ruin ever einoe we were married. If that is what you mean by ruin, I think I have most reason to oomplain, sir.”

“Be silent, Sibyl, I ooramand you. There is venom on your tongue, and. you employ it only to irritate me. I oannot bear it, now, so he silent. Yon do not wait for reason to oomplain. You have no reason, no love.” ‘•You dare tell me that, Alberti I have no love I I have loved you too well, but all my love has been thrown away. I love you still but yon do longer love me. You have given the love that should be mine to another who ia more pleasing in your eyes. Do vou think I oan know that and be silent ? Your ma’rriaga with me is the ruin you are so distressed about. It has been ruin to me. I wish it had not been performed—l wiffi I had never seen your face !” cried Mrs. Gough.in a frenzy of passion whioh she made no effort to Bubdue.

“ What is that you say, Sibyl ? You wish you had never seen my faoe?” oried Albert, with stern earnestness. •‘Yes, that ia what I say,” almost shrieked Mrs. Gough, whose passion had now reached the breaking point at which the Btorm of a woman’s fury usually ends in a rain of tears.

“ That ends my hesitation,” said Albert, in a tone little louder than a whisper, yet deep and concentrated. He stepped tnok a pace. Thore waa a loud report, a pistol fl hw from his hand to the end of the room, and he atnggered back to a sofa, on whioh he sank. He had shot himself in tbs Tiea'd, but the wound waa not immediately fatal. .... Sibyl shrieked and flans? herself on her knees before him, gazing into the pale faoe, and noting the blood that oozed between the fingers of the hand that supported bis head as if she were fascinated by horror. Gertie,, who had left the room when the dispute higen, rushed in when she heard the report and the shriek. and stc.>d horror-stricken beside }?iß knrellng woman, and peering into the f:ioa of the wounded man. She did not shriek, however. She saw Albert was not dead, and her practical mind prompted her to action. , . <■ x will bring a surgeon,” she said, and instantly disappeared. When the-surgeon arrived Albert had been insensible for several minutes. Sibyl had tried to staunch the blood for pressing cloths to the wound, and stood beside the" notf prostrate man, tortured by fear that almost made her frantic. The surgeon examined ttie wound ana pronounced it not fatal. The bullat had struok the upper part of the temple, but had glanced of! without penetrating the bone. Absolute quiet and careful attention were needed to enpure perfect recovery. V/hen Sibyl heard that her overstrained nerves relaxed, and she fell tainting to the Boor. The swoon continued for eeves* minutes, but when consciousness was restored Sibyl arose from her tranoe a completely altered woman. Her first demand was to b* taken to the room to whioh her hußband had been borne. The surgeon forbade it, on the ground of peril to the wounded man, and Sibyl humbly accepted his deoision. Hcxt day the surgeon said Albert was so far recovered that this wife might visit him with safety. From that hour during the next few days she was his devoted and inseparable nurse. The love that had been nearly extinguished by unreasonable passion iaoitioa to aoiaide was revived jo first

#irmth and purity, and accompanied by a degree of mutual trust that had not before found a plaoe fn Sibyl’s heart. Albert’s speoulations appeared to be successful after all. The more important became rapidly remunerative after they had lain for some time at the lowest point of depression, Financial ruin was averted and live was saved, and, of more real importance to the happiness of both, Sibyl learned the true qualifications and the trae demeanour of a loving wife from her terrible lesson. The Dominance of Love, The old question whether good or evil influences are dominant ia the world is not to be settled by superficial observation. Nature, it has always been affirmed, is not benevolent. Her laws, inexorable as they are, ride over millions of orushed and bleeding viotims, not merely among men, but in the thou-sand-fold more numerous world of animal life. If nature be hot indifferent to human and animal suffering, she does not on the surfaoe at least show any interest in the alleviation of the pain that she infliots. Storms, ovolones and earthquakes are all natural phenomena, whioh have destroyed and will probably oontinue to destroy millions of living beings. If Nature cares for these results it iB not shown by any abatement of her laws. This view, though oommon, is evidently only narrow and superficial. It is true that the humau records of natural phenomena are almost wholly of destructive agencies. Storms, oyolones and earthquakes furnish a great deal of the interesting news that fills the daily papers. Yet they constitute not a thousandth part of the natural forces at work for human welfare. When occasionally a single man is overpowered and stricken down by the heat of the sun, millions on millions are revived and gladdened by his beams. Occasionally the rain oauses destructive freshets, or in other ways oauses loss. But rain is mostly helpful rather than harmful to mankind. All over the world rain is the agent whioh revives vegetation, and thus produces the food on which man and beast subsist. Even among mankind benevolenoe is far more prevalent than is generally supposed, and is more enduring than hatred. Yet the reoord. of human history has been mainly a story of war and its countless cruelties. Yet the warriors themselves were men with home ties, the love of families and of dependent little ones. In more caßes than may be thought the cruelties of war were but the introversion of love of home and of patriotic feeling. Even while destroying his fellowmen, the warriors at least believed he was, and sometimes really was, aoting for the ultimate welfare of the human race. The time has partly come in human history when the iutrinaio greatness of benevolent feeling and action oan be better understood. As it is in her beneficent agendas that nature ia mainly manifested, it may be fairly assumed, even from a broad view of natural laws, that they are imperfectly understood. Fire burns, yet destruction ia not its main purpose. If it only burns under human guidance fire is man’s beat, friend. Without it he is a savage. A century ago lightning did nothing for man except to kill him or burn his buildings. Now the beneficent uses of electricity are almost miiumeiable. It furnishes light and power for human use whenever man setß himself to study the laws that govern its phenomena. Any one who witnesses a violent summer storm must be impressed at first by its utter disregard of human laws or wishes. Only our use to suoh aoenes prevents men from going wild with fear when the thunder roars and the rain pours down in torrents. But after the storm comes the calm. Here and there an isolated tree is torn down by the wind or struck by lightning. But on the whole, it is seen that the storm, has been beneficent. .The lesson ia all the more strongly impressed upon those who have learned to look from nature up to nature’s God. The beneficenoe of the Divine BeiDg iB affirmed by revelation, and reading nature carefully, it is not less affirmed by the works which, no less than revelation, reveal the divine character. It has taken many thousand years to bring the most civilised portions of humanity to a belie! in the beneficent nature of the Power that rules the universe; but it is a belief that no warmly sympathetic soul oan be happy without. Only by educating one’s thoughts to entire selfishness oan men be satisfied in thinking that nature or Diety are indifferent to the happiness or suffering of humanity. Three Humorous Stories. Humor is. sometimes caused by the irrelevance of two remarks, oithor of which should suit the circumstances well enough. The following is a fair example. At a Scotch funeral, just as the coffin was being lowered into the gravo, one of the mourners approached the minister and whispered to ken what I aye think jußt when they’re letting down the coffin ?’’ “ Solemn thoughts of death and eternity, l have no doubt,” said the minister.” “ Na,” said the other; “I’mayeawfu glad it’s no me.” “ How mony of the elect do ye think there will be on the earth at present?” said one Scotchman to another. “ Maybe a dizzen," responded the other. “ Hoot, mon 1 no near so mony as that I indignantly rejoined bis friend. An old lady was very despondent as to the condition-of the world. She was sharply rebuked by a neighbor. “Janet, woman ye surely think that naobody is goinir to be saved except yersol’ and the minister 1” , , . , . << Weel, I sometimes hae my doubts about the minister," responded Janet. The question was too serious to affect the sanae of humor in either party. Nor is there in this last story any of the conceit which might have animated the ancient Jewish rabbi, when he declared that if all the world were lost he and his son would be saved, since in Scotland the idea of salvation by personal merits was universally repudiated. Gems of Thought. Life is not so short but that there is alwayi time enough for courtesy—Emerson, Those who live on vanity must, not unreasonably, expect to die of mortification. — Mrs. Ellis. He who comes up to his own idea of greatn*ess must always have had a very low standard ot it in his own mind.—llazlitt. Only the refined and delicate pleasures that spring from research and education can build up barriers between different ranks.— Mme. de Stael. I think it must be somewhere written, that the«virtues of mothers shall, occasionally. be visited on their children, as well aa the sins of fathers.—Dickerson. Of all the actions of a man’s life, bis marriage does least concern other people, yet of all aotions of our life, ’tis most meddled with by other people.—Balden,