Humorous.

Golden Bay Argus, Volume 2, Issue 2, 10 June 1892, Page 3

Humorous.

A Moment With the Poets

" Imperial Ciesar, dead and turned to clay Might atop a 1 ole to keep the wind away,” Had he but thought of this, he would, no doubt, Have stopped the hole that let his own wind out,

The anarchist must have his beer, For beer is mostly foam, And foam is wind, and wind is where The anarohist’s at home.

"Absence makeß the heart grow fonder,’ So the poet said to Stella, Still, remember as you wander, Absence made her heart grow fonder— Fonder of the other fellah.

"•None but the brave deserved the fair,” As Dryden said m “Alexander,” And I have heard or read somewhere That no oue but the brave can stand her.

One day a great philosopher Set out to find a fool. He stopped to drink, and what do yoQ' think He saw within the pool? The world declared he saw a sage, But he, with wisdom fraught, Turned homeward bound, for he had found The objeot that he sought,

Man wants but little here below, And generally gets it, But when his pile begins to grow ’Tis seldom he regrets it.

" Sweet are the uses of adversity," Aye, marry, Master William, so they be. Doth not adversity (our friend in sooth) Hold down the other fellow, and i’ faith, Give us a chance ?

Care to our coffin adds a nail, no doubt, And every grin, so merry, draws one

out.” Thus Dr. Woloot said in words so win-

ning That skeletons have ever since been grinning.

" And is there nothing about me that yott can like just a little?” he asked. "Yes ; there is one thing that would delight me forever," she answered. " And that is ?” “ Your perfectly charming, your entrancing, your very preoious ” “ Yes ; go on.” " Absence.”

Oh, what a preoious little money bank,’* exclaimed a visitor at the Fangles, as she examined Freddy’s birthday gift. " Yes,” said Freddy, " and there’s precious little money in it, too.” There's a nice clerk in a certain Geelong music store, who ia not only a dreamer, but of late he has beoome very religiously inclined. The other day a pretty girl from the country came into the store. “ Good morning,” he said politely. " Good morning,” she responded ; “ have you * White Wings f’ ” "I beg your pardon,” he stammered. " Have you ‘ White Wings V ” Bhe repeated. "Not yet,” he answered meekly. Then hopefully, " but I expect to have some day, miss.’* The girl looked at him for a second and hurriedly got out. " Yes,” said Tommy, “ I should admire to be a soldier, to oarry a gun and sword and lead my men through fastnesses in the mountains, where the enemy lie conaealed two to our one, and we would die like heroes with our boots on.” "Tommy," said his mother, "go into the woodshed and get me an armful of kindling.” " Will yon hold the light, mamma?” " What do you want of a light ?” inquired his mother. “I’m a-a-fraid.”

A Mother’s Sacrifice—“So you passad your** self as a widow while you were away, eh ?” said Mr Briggs to hiß Bpouse, who, by the way, is rather good looking. “Yon ought, to be ashamed of yourself, but I suppose yon? are not.” 1

"Of course lam not,” was her reply. “I' did so merely on Johnny's aooonnt. Yon have no idea how kind all the gentlemen were to him.”

What Was Said—'Your boss sent yon home?” inquired the hoy's father, angrily. "What happened? Wnafc did he say to you?" “ He said I was a.Btupid ass.” “ And so you are. And what else did ha say ?”

“ He said that ‘ like father, like son.’” Strategy—" Brownßton has cured his wife of everlasting talking,” " How, for goodness sake ?” " He told her that she looked prettier with her mouth dosed, and now Bhe can hardly b« induced to utter a syllable.” It May be So—" Oh, Harry,” Bhe whia* pored, " I love yon so muoh, but really I’m too young to think of getting married right away.”

"Of course yon ere, darling,” he urged, "ar.d that’s why I’m so anxious to have it come off early. When you get older yon wilT probably change your mind.”