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Golden Bay Argus, Volume 2, Issue 2, 10 June 1892, Page 6

The Mohawk Indians will not permit even so much as a blade of grass to grow upon the graves of their companions. The model of the cockpit of the Victory illustrative of the death of Nelson, is to be transferred to the Chicago Exhibition of 1893.

Toothache can generally be cured immediately by putting a small piece of cotton, saturated with strong ammonia, into the hollow of the affected tooth.

Here is a good specimen of the Taurus Hibernicus reported in a contemporary. Two men were lately brought before the local bench of magistrates charged with stealing mushrooms. After the case had been heard, the chairman told the prisoners that “ there was n* doubt they stole the mushrooms, but the bench would give them the benefit of any doubt that might exist.” Therefore they were discharged.

"Did you tell that man I’d gone to the Continent, as I told you to, James ?” ‘‘ Yes, sir, I told him you started this morning.” “ That’s a good boy. And what did he say ?”

“ He wanted to know when you’d be back, and I told him ‘ after lunch,’ sir.” As the time draws near For guests to depart, The landlord’s smile Is a work of art. She (waiting for him in the corridor) : “ And did you ask papa ?” He: “I did.”

She : “ And what did he say ?” He : " Well, weally, Amy, I’d—l’d rather not answer. I—l belong to the Church, don’t y’ know.” A facetious dandy, who danced with a couple of country girls at a party recently, remarked that, although he Uked rings on his fingers, he couldn’t stand belles on his toes.

Jake Ikenstein : “ Repecca, on mein knees I imblores you to pe mein vife !” Rebecca Lowenkrantz : •* Shake, git oop ! Vat vosh you dinking off ? Dose bants goat more as 125.”

Dudeson - 11 Ah—l say, waitah, what is this dish hyah?”

Waiter : “ That, sir ? Macaroni au chappie sir.”

Dudeson: “ Maeawoni au chappie? Ah ah—what’s that, pway?” Waiter : “ Macaroni and calves’ brains, sir.” “Pray tell me how do maidens woo?” She answered him : I don't Know how, because—because— aren’t you Aware they always won’t?”

Inquisitive person ; " What’s that you do be drinking wid your whisky this morning Mr Quinn?” Mr Quinn : “ Pollynaris water.” Inquisitive person ; “ Sure what does it taste loike?”

Mr Quinn : “ W ell, it tastes loike yer foot was asleep.”

Miss Bndd; " How do you manage to keep your clothes so nioe onboard the yacht?” Yachtsman : “ Oh, yaohtsmen only wear their yachting olothes on land.” Ethxl : “ Mamma and I were attaoked by the tramp, and I threw a stone and knooked him fiat.”

Maud : “ How did you ever oome to hit him with it ?” Ethel: “ I fired at mamma.”