NEWSY NOTES.

Feilding Star, Volume IV, Issue 1169, 27 April 1910, Page 1

NEWSY NOTES.

The road to pleasure is much shorter going than coming back. * i Money talks, but nobody notices what kind of grammar it uses. •X People count up the faults of those who keep them waiting. •Salt's much easier for some men to make love than to make a living. An excellent assortment of Linoleums jxxst opened at John Cobbe's. Why is a waiter like a racehorse?— Because he runs for cups, plates, and steaks. •sfr Each Dreadnought costs, approximately, £2,000,000; equivalent to 2d in the pound on the income-tax. ■3f Adversity often works prosperity, but that does not acquit the man who brings it on another. New Neckwear, Is, Is 3d, Is 6d each in John Cobbe's Fancy Department. The dollar will never be worth much to any man until every man is worth more than the dollar. The submerged iwtion of the hull of a Dreadnought is entirely unarmoured. ■ * She: That's jirejudiee. Why wouldn't you marry a shopgirl? He: Oh, she would always be calling for cash, you know.

Squalling babies are a crying evil, or perhaps they can be better described as a "'howling success." Large size Colonial Blaukets 24s 6d pair at John Cobbe's. .' The power to do great things generally arises from the willingness to do small things. The honours which a man enjoys should always be measxired by the means he employed t-o secure them. "So many prize-fights end with ' a blow on the jaw.' " "Of course! In prize-fighters that's the part of the body that is overtrained." All advertising campaigns are campaigns of education. If they are not education they are not advertising at all. Don't be afraid of making a mistake. Napoleon said: "Nobody ever made anything avlio never made a mistake." Warm Colonial Rugs, 16s 6d and 18s 6d, at John Cobbe's. "Are there any fish in the lake liere?" "I dunnol This is only the second day that I've been fishing here I" Small Child: Papa, why do they call in a consulting physician? Father: So that lie can share tho blame. Why does the poker across the fire revive it? . Because it receives and concentrates the heat, and causes a draught through tho fire. ' " ' ■ *.'■" District Visitor: Does your poor husband have any lucid intervals, Mrs O'Brien? Mrs O'Brien: Shure, no, Miss. I only just give him what the doctor orders. Inspect the Gents' Boots, 15s 6d pair, at John Cobbe's. Our happiness depends less upon the art of pleasing than upon a uniform disposition to please. The difference is that wliicli exists between ceremony and sincerity. •Jγ Voice from the well: Help ! Help 1 I'm drowning! Bertie: By Jove! How beastly interesting. * If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, Five things observe with care: Of whom you speak, to whom you speak, And how, ancl when, ancl where. "That wealthy young broker has given his motor to a well-known actress." "Yes. He says' his father taught him to hitch his waggon to a star." Special window display of Children's Mil'linerj' at John Cobbe's. The self-made man was speaking. He said: "My father was a raiser of hogs. There was a large family of us" (and then his voice was drowned by the applause).

The "betrothal trio," consisting of an engagement ring, a wrist bracelet, and a bangle worn slightly above the elbow, is the latest novelty in Vienna. * . The Bohemian Diet has decided, in view of the critical financial situation, to release from the asylums 280 inmates whose minds are but slightly unhinged. ' Emancipated Woman (lecturing): The question, therefore, that suggests itself is—Under what conditions ought women to be allowed to sit in tlie House of Commons? Voice from the Back Seats: Muzzled!