The Woes of a Sweep Winner.

Feilding Star, Volume XXI, Issue 126, 27 November 1899, Page 4

The Woes of a Sweep Winner.

(•• Melbourne Punch ") The following is a single page' from the diary of a speculator who draws a winner' in TattersaU's sweep: 1 — •7 a. m, — Bead the announcement of my sweep. 7.15.— Milkman, who has been pressing for payment of his bill, graciously intimates that I can take my own time. 7.20:-Man.nex* door brought in a dozen " fre*h laid " eggs as a present from his wife Have previously been at war with him for throwing his snails into my garden, (N.B.— Had two of the eggs for breakfast. They were stale.) 7.45. — Postman, who had no letter, called in to ask the address of a man who has been; living in the street twenty years'. Called me aside to ask if I could lend him a fiver, as the bailiffs were in the house. I couldn't! B.ls.— Five, men came up one after another and offered me a cigar while I was in the station waiting for mj train. They all knew that I never smoke. The guard asked me if I'd hk* to travel in the van, and the porter opened a carriage door for me. Two fellow passeßgera asked me if I'd like to haye a look at their papers. 9.5. found caretaker polishing my brass- plate when I reached office. He had never done it before without pay ment in advance He also siid, " Good morning Sir !" and touched hw hat. He has formerly scowled. 9.20 — Ty pf-writer, who once wrote an anonymous letter to my wife faying I had kissed her, sent m a button hole of forget-me-nots, and a card with "Let bygoses 03 byeones " typed on it, 9.3s.— Scvm telegrams of congratulation came together, four from men who had summoned me for debt, . an* three from fe lows I had cot eeen since I left schooi. * ' . 11. — Efaye had to keep my door shut for last hour and a half to check visits from fellows who want to know if I'll •• cbmeanavodrmk ?" Nineteen cards have been shoved under the door, eight letters, including flvt invitations to dinner and sixmoie telegrams. Thank heaven ! 1 have always been too poor to run a telephone 11.15. - Disguised myself by shaving off my beard and whiskers, aad went out and had a drink on my own 12.15 - Have been locked in for another hour. Eleven more cards, three more letters, and fonr more telegrams. Four fellows are at the door now. 12.45.— Letmyself down from a window by a rope, so as i could get some lunch. Two more telegram** have- arrived. 2. — Sot to Spencer street station to take a train to the country, for the sake of peace. Stopped by a detective, who took me for an absconding criminal. Had to explain who I was. He then insisted upon my having two drinks and three cigars. 3 30. — Reached home in deepair. Dog didn't know me, and bit me on the leg; wife ditto, and screamed ont "Police! 1 ' All her relations, who had never called before, joined in the chorus. Managed to explain. Am now locked up in my room determined not to' see anybodyi Wife tells me through the door that thirty-seven letters, twenty-eight telegrams and eighteen cards have been left during the day. 6.4s.— "Have got myself fairly well drunk, and am comparatively at peace/ Visitors, letters, cards and telegrama have been coming all day. ' Also numerous presents for . myself, the wife and children.— D-r—ri TattersaU's sweep !