LOCAL & GENERAL

Franklin Times, Volume XIX, Issue 39, 5 April 1929, Page 4

LOCAL & GENERAL

Last Day fop Land Returns. Our readers are reminded that today is the last day for making returns of land held by them, and any who have omitted to send them in will be wise to attend to the matter without delay.

Three Kinds of Speeches

"Thre are three kinds of speeches," said Mr W. J. Broadfoot, M.P., patron of the Te Kuiti Friendly Societies' Sports Club at the smoko on Saturday night, in replying to the toast of "the Club's patron," which latter had contained the suggestion that "the patron's speech would no doubt be the best, of evening." "Those three kinds of speeches are—the nice speech you have written clown, the one you deliv- I ered, and the one you could have de- ! livered." I

Relicensing of Motor Vehicles.

i The re-licensing of motor vehicles 1 for the year 1929-30 will commence on April 15 at post offices throughout the Dominion. In addition to the usual license fees payable premiums will be collected in connection with the third party insurance scheme. ■ New Railway Bridge.

The erection of a new railway bridge across the Waikato River at Ngaruawahia is scheduled for completion within the next two years (says the Waikato Times). During the past few months officers and engineers of the Railway Department, have been testing the river-bed and during the Aveek-end still further interesting experiments were made in pile-driving tests. Quite Unrehearsed.

An unrehearsed incident, which provided amusement for all but the party concerned, took place in one of the local tea-rooms shortly after mid-day to-day. A party of two women and three men entered the eating house and were discussing how five could sit at a table designed to accommodate four. "You sit here," one of the women directed a youth, at the same time, withdrawing the chair upon which it was intended that he should sit. The youth naturally complied with the direction, but flopped on to the floor upon that part of the human body Nature reserves for sitting. The surprised youth received somewhat of a shock, but it was not above his dignity to join in the peal of laughter. Child Slavery.

The reported case of "child slavery" on the Hauraki Plains, has proved upon investigation by the hon. Child Welfare Officer, not as bad as it first appeared. The facts of the case (says the Hauraki Plains Gazette) are that the herd consists of 48 cows, for which there are two adult and three juvenile milkers, with a four-cow milking plant. The children do not rise before 6 a.m. The reason they could not attend th-A school picnic was the difficulty of getting home at the late hour of the arrival of the return train- —a distance of nearly four miles.- When seen unexpectedly they were frolicking in the paddocks, and showed no signs of weariness. They are properly cared for, being well clad and nourished. Their education is abreast of their respective ages and mentality. Farm Routine.

The new chum had just arrived to commence his first job on a farm. He found all the younger members of the family about to sally forth to woo i Tersicliore in the nearest township. ; After a vigorous evening of De Alberting and Schottisching, which was prolonged into the wee sma' hours, our callow friend was disrobing, thankful for the prospect of a few hours' slumber before facing the unknown trials of the morrow. Suddenly there came a knock on his door, and there appeared the grizzled head of the farmer. This worthy beamed on the semisomnolent youth with gratifying friendliness. "That's a good start, boy!" he said. "You're the first I've ever had that could get up without being called!" And within the next few minutes a weary disillusioned youth was milking.

"Where is New Zealand?"

I Among the New Plymouth bowlers in Cambridge for the Easter bowling tournament was one who was with the New Zealand party of bowlers who made a world tour some time ago. He told a good story to a Waikato Independent representative illustrative of the Americans' ignorance of New Zealand. During the trip across the Atlantic to the States the narrator and another well-known Auckland bowler were conversing with rt party of Americans when one asked: "Where do you people come from?" and, of course, the information was readily forthcoming. "Oh. yes," replied the American, "New ' Zealand is in Australia, isn't it?" The American was just as promptly informed thai New Zealand was certainly not in Australia, but was 1500 miles distant. "Is that so?" said the Yankee. "then you speak mighty good English." The reader can imagine the rest of the conversation.

Manure on Pumice Country

"I will not say that I have discovered a new 'banzana' or that a fortune is to be made out of this class of land," said the Hon. G. W. Forbes, (Minister of Lands), when asked at Futaruru "his opinion on the pumic lands through which he had travelled the previous three days. "But with a judicial use of manures by men practical enough to know their work, a fair return should be given. It is no us« J building up great hopes-to induff? pen- ' pie not suited to go on the land, and the whole position should he fairly and squarely placed before them. Men should not take up too large an area, for the pastures recfuire close watching, and a man should also have a fair amount of capital, for he is going to be faced with expense in keeping the pasture up to pitch. Unless this is done, the carying capacity will be reduced and the returns thus lowered. I have been agreeably surprised at. what the settlers are doing on this class of land, for they seem to be getting satisfactory returns," concluded Mr Forbes.