“NUMBER, PLEASE!”

Evening Star, Issue 26103, 17 May 1947, Page 10

“NUMBER, PLEASE!”

In this little street, I own The only handy telephone, And I have—l must admit— Quite a lot of use for it. Furthermore, ’twixt me and you, Others find it useful, too. It’s un-neighbourly and mean Pointing out the slot-machine Quite conveniently bestowed At the bottom of,the road. Not a lengthy journey—say, P’raps a dozen chains away. Still it’s not an irksome labour Doing favours to one’s neighbour Each (and all, upon the whole) Is a fairly decent soul— Only one——who seems to be Always dropping in on me, Saving in the interim, When I’m taking calls for him. He has just arrived at selling His attractive next-door dwelling. I’m let in for all this bother, While he tries to buy another. Hence comes numberless replies. From the folk who advertise. Countless ringings everywhere— Agents here, and vendors there In he comes, and out he goes— Villas, flats, and bungalows.. Still, in spite of all his trying, Everything’s too dear for buying; It is much too big—or small,— Or the place won’t do at all, Being in some weird locality Unfrequented by the “ quality,” Anyhow, I wish him well, And a house wherein to dwell, After all this lengthy bother Selling one and buying t’other. Soon may all his troubles cease, Then I’ll have a spot of peace!