SOOT FDR THE GARDEN CARROTS

Evening Star, Issue 21630, 27 January 1934, Page 23

SOOT FDR THE GARDEN CARROTS

Alice and Jane take a cottage in the Border Country, and in ‘ Scotch Broth,’ by Anne Hepple, a merry story is told of their doings. James comes in to breakfast some morning with a face as long as Leith Walk, and says in an injured toue: ■ “ What happens to all th 6 soot in this house? I’d give anything for a little, nice soot for my carrots; it’s a funny thing that, with all the flues in the kitchen, 1 cannot get a simple tiling like a little soot.” Obediently I go to Fanny in the kitchen and say: “ Fanny, the master wants a little soot for the carrots, so when you clean out the flues put the soot in a newspaper so that it won’t blow about, and put it in the outhouse.” Fanny makes a parcel of the soot and puts it in the outhouse, and 1 say to James next time I get a chance; “There’s a nice parcel of soot in the outhouse for you, James.” “Good!” says James. Next week Fanny comes to me and says: “Please, mem, what will I do with the soot Out of the flues?” “ Do it up in a newspaper so that it won’t blow about, and put it in the outhouse.” Fanny does so, and 1 say to James at dinner: “Janies, there are two nice parcels of soot for you in the outhouse.” “Capital.”’ says James. Another week passes. The same thing happens. This goes on till there is a huge pile of newspaper parcels in the outhouse. Then Fanny comes in with a face twice as long as Leith Walk. “ Please, mem, what’ll I do with all the soot in the outhouse?” By this time J begin to get peevish about the soot. “ Put it in the ash-bin,” say I. Fanny puts it in the ash-bin. Next morning, when I am writing, and have just got into the midst of a love scene in the moonlight, Fanny puts her head round the door. “ Please, mom, the dustman, mem, he says, mem, as what he.’s not supposed to take away any soot; it flies all over the 'osses, he says, and all over everythink, and he says as what it’s not in liis orders ” “ Give him a shilling.” T say, having heard this story before about garden rubbish and newspapers and nearly everything that one does want to - get rid of. Fann, gives him a shilling. Next week she knocks at the door again. “ Please, mem. what’ll 1 do with the soot out of the flues?” “ Perhaps.” 1 say. after strenuous thinking, “you had better not roll it

in a newspaper. Put it do.wn in a corner of the garden where the master will be sure to see it.” < Fanny puts it in the garden where James will be sure to sec it. He doe*. A hurricane arises the moment it is put down. In the evening a tornado of another kind sweeps into the house. “ What in all the world has Fanny been doing, flinging soot all over the garden? One would positively think the sole idea of that girl was to find out ways of annoying me. After all my labour one would suppose I might be allowed to pull a few roses—but, no! As soon as they are out she deliberately marches up the garden and flings soot all over them. Here are the slugs devouring everything in the garden, and when I plead—absolutely plegd—for a little soot to be set aside for the carrots, she declares there is not such a thing in the house, hut as soon as my roses are out . . .” And so on. Fanny weeps and gives notice, arl the roast is burnt and the potatoes sodden. “ You’ve hurt her feelings,” 1 say to James. “ Bless my soul!” says James. Tie says this about three times, then he goes and shouts. “Fanny!” “ Yes, sir?” “Dry your een, ma lassie. My bark’s worse nor my bite.” Next week Fanny puts her head in at the door and asks: “ Please, niein, what shall I do with the soot out of the flues?” Then the worm turns. “ Fat it,” say I. This is undignified, but effectual. Fanny gently closes the door, and thenceforth disposes of the soot out ol the flues in her own mysterious but

efficient method, and 1 hear no more about soot—until the following spring. Then as soon as the carrot seed is bougjit 1 know what we are in for.