BY THE WAY

Evening Star, Issue 20310, 19 October 1929, Page 2

BY THE WAY

[By -Q.T.I

“ The time has come,” (he Vfalrus said, “To talk of many things.**. The best-dressed Prime Minister who ever decorated Australian politics has fallen Iby the wayside., Neither his glossy belltopper nor his immaculate collar and tie, nor his spats, nor ins well-creased trousers, availed him. As; for his wounds and his. war service a new generation has arisen which hardly knows-that there was a, war on a lew. years ago. That is old play now, only remembered by those who took part in it. and the relatives of the men who after life’s fitful fever sleep well, we hope, though in alien soil. Certainly these things did not bring 'many votes to Stanley Bruce, late Federal Prime Minister of Australia. Mr Bruce’s trouble was that, he was too polite, too averse to taking any stand which might hurt the feelings of others. Such men may possibly be loved, but they are not respected, for respect implies a faint flavour of fear. So Mr Bruce is deposed, and- Mr Scullin will reign in ins stead—at any rate until Mr Theodore is ready to take the position as Leader of a Labour Government. And why not ? We have not the slightest objection to a Labour Government as • a Labour Government. Some of the best Cabinets Australia has known have been drawn from the ranks of Labour. If we believe in democracy (and. whether we believe in it br not it is now too late to object to it), we must logically wish to see Labour- rule, seeing that tho great majority of the electors are workers with hand or brain -or both. The new Government will ‘have a stormy passage, the clouds are gathering across 1 the Tasman Sea, the glass is falling, and the sea rising. Whether the new officers will keep the ship on the best course we know not. We would mucU sooner let them have the job than tackle it ourselves.

A German named Georgo Bernstein, who has just died, was believed to be a hunchback, hut on his death it was discovered that the deformity was assumed. He carried in the hump over, 10,000d6l in notes and valuables worth 1,000,000 francs. Bernstein lived like a miser.—Cable item.

I’ve heard of misers in my day, Of whom it'has been told That they invented many a way Of hoarding up .their gold. They’d put it in a ; stocking foot Or drop it in the sea, Or bury it beneath, the root :! Of some convenient tree. Where we Could never hope to see, Or handle any of the Idot (Unless we had a key). I’ve heard of cash beneath a floor, And up a chimney, too, And secret safes have kept a store ’ From over-curious view; While AH Baba from a cave Unearthed a robbers’ hoard; Tho door flew open when he gave Tho preconcerted word. He scored; But Cassim, who ignored The password, filled an early grave , (A foolish man’s reward!). And secret panels, here and there, A tale of wealth could tell; And men have hidden gold with care, Like Truth, within a well; While other chaps have stowed away Their treasure, sack by sack. And hid it from the light of day With harmless bric-a-bac. Good lack! - For thieves were on its track; But fancy making it display A hump upon your back 1 « » * *

The first round in the fight for disarmament is over, or practically over, and Mr Ramsay MacDonald has earned a paragraph in history as the first British Prime Minister to cross the Atlantic in order to give away an advantage. His predecessors contented themselves with doing such things by correspondence, but it is the “human touch ” which tells. So far as can be judged at this distance Mr MacDonald lias consented not only to reduce our already attenuated fleet, but also to consider the abandonment of our bases in the West Indies, and the Canadian base at Halifax. What Mr Hoover is prepared to do in return is not yet divulged, but we should not wonder if he presented Mr MacDonald with a copy of ‘From Log Cabin to White House,’ or even the complete edition of the works of Ella Wheeler Wilcox bound in asses’ skin. The argument has been used that the saving effected by this reduction of our first (and only) line of defence, will result in a reduction of the taxation which is killing British industry and filling British streets with unemployed. It seems a pity to destroy this innocent illusion, but there is not a hope of anything of the sort happening. The part saved out of the sixty millions we now spend annually on the Navy will come in very handy to placate the left wing of Mr MacDonald’s following—for a little while at least. Mr Maxton, for example, could, and would, spend the lot in the Bridgetown division of Glasgow, which* he represents, and ask for more. Whoever may lose a job under the new order of things it will not be anyone in the Income Tax Department. . e » e •

Should we ever get into Parliament — a most unlikely happening--we would bring in an Eight-hour Day Extension Bill, which would be thrown out on its ear without discussion. Mindful, however, of King Bruce and the spider, Mr Sidey and the Summer Time Bill, the lady in the Bible who did so much importuning, and other historic precedents we would bring it up again and again, until the House would pass it from very weariness of the subject. The Bill would extend the eight-hour principle to embrace all the women in the country, particularly farmers’ wives, and any male person who sought to induce his wife, daughter, or other , female relative, to break, bend, or distort the provisions of the Act should _ be dealt with most firmly. Among other items the Bill would provide that all cooking, washing, bedraaking, clothes mending, et hoc genus omne, which means, and things of that sort,’’ shall be performed between the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m., and all meals must be finished m time to permit of the dishes being washed up and put away before the latter hour. Husbands requiring breakfast before 8 a.m. to provide them themselves, or alternately, take their wives to the pictures at least once for each such meal supplied. Any male person entering a house with muddv boots to be fined 2s Gd for the first offence, ,10s for the second, and if a third offence be committed be sent to gaol for at least one Meek to leam better manners. We arc riot quite sure whether males should be allowed to smoke in bed on Sunday mornings or not On the whole, we think that this might be a matter of mutual arrangement between the parties concerned. Having got the Bill through, we would lie back and await the presentation which would no doubt be made, hoping that it would be on the same scale as the £25.000 presented, to tlie Rt. Hon. \V M Hughes by some unkmnvn but strongly siispected admirers some years ago.

Mottos for Dunedin in Early Summer

“Many are cold, but few are frozen,”

A minor earthquake is engaging the attention of the League of Nations Maritime Conference at Geneva at present. Taking advantage of the technical point, that the British seamen s representative was not a seaman, tho ship-owners refused to do _any conferring, and withdrew to their respective hotels to discuss matters over a game of bridge. It seems a very ungracious attitude tx> adopt, but what can be done about it? The book of the words says distinctly that the conference shall embrace the Governments_ concerned, the employers’ representatives, and those of the employed. If one brother of the parties concerned refuses to attend what can one do?. You can take a man to Geneva but you cannot make .jhim speak, if he chooses to remain silent. In tho bad old days a little judicious torture induced many people to speak volubly on such occasions, but one cannot imagine the League of Nations pouring half a gallon of water down Lord Tnchcape’s throat through a pipe, so here is another problem to turn tho League’s hair white, or whiter than m is at present. It is also much, troubled by the attitude of its old fnemL and till latelv, ardent supporter, China, now strolling along the Manchurian border with a rifle under its arm x looking for Russians. Russia has never been a member of the League, but sympathises . with its aims so far as to suggest some time ago that all nations should disarm totally, and beat their swords into typewriters. It did not mention what it intended to do witn its own weapons, but there was a suspicion that they were, to be wrapped m oiled silk, and stored in the washhouse, where they would be handy it required for demonstration purposes. Russia is now shelling Chinese villages, and diopping bombs on the hardy peasantry ot these parts, but the League lies low and says nuflin. . ■ * . « * .* Ant Club Captain to His Members-; Now, all ye merry gentlemen _ Who wield the bat and ball, The time is growing nearer, when That English team, will call. The questions that should agitate Your fertile brains • to-day Are : “ What will be Otago’s fate? And “Who’ll be picked to play?” We’re up against it from the start, For all the chaps who come With bat and ball have played thenpart Most notably at Home. There’s not the slightest room for doubt, Whatever wo may do, We’ll have a job to get them out, And score against them, too. So all you chaps who’ve played before, Consider, and beware, Lest reputations count for, more With you than taking care. Wbate’er yon did in former days. You’ll need to do your best, In order to be worth your place In local match or test. And all you budding Hammonds, and You embryonic Tates, You need the skilful eye and hand Which practice inciilcates. The man who labours at the nets, And doesn’t trust to luck, Will be the very man who gets ' Promoted from tho rnelc. It’s practice, practice does the trick, And practice every night, For thanks to Sidey' (he’s a brick!) You’ve half an hour more light. And if you do—however strong The Englishmen may seem. You’ll find they’ll have to shift along To heat Otago’s team.