BY THE WAY.

Evening Star, Issue 19550, 7 May 1927, Page 2

BY THE WAY.

[By Q.Y.]

“ The time has come/* tho Walrus said, “To talk of many things."

Who among us, not being a minister of the Presbyterian Church, could say off hand what are “ the rights of an ordainee within, the bounds ’? Frankly, we have not tbe faintest idea; but doubtless they are impressive, for the other day the Presbytery seemed quite excited when it received an application -to wield them. We are not very sura about the connection, but the Rev. Mr Kilpatrick said that it would be a relief to him to have nothing to do with North Taieri other than at the annual meeting. This is a dark saying, and one which the laity had better leave in professional hands To outward view, North Taieri seems a delectable place, ' especially when touched with autumn melancholy, and the North Taieri church is not the least pleasing part of the prospect. It always reminds us of the little abbey of Caranac praised by Fenelon; a place where one could retire from the world, “And watch the sun in his royal state, And th.e changing face of the courtier clouds.”

Apparently appearances are not to bo relied upon. Later, Mr Kilpatrick fell foul of the Rev.* Mr Fish, and explained that certain rules and regulations, queried by the latter gentleman, had been drawn up before Mr Fish was in the church, “ by men who thought.” Apparently the inference was that Mr Fish did not think. Very few of us do, by the way, nor does it seem imperative that we should. In deed, the motives actuating gentlemen in Mr Kilpatrick’s- own profession are usually supposed to spring more from the heart than tho head, and Pascal, who was a profound thinker, praises them for it. Unfortunately, the heart seems just as likely to suggest war as peace, and it would appear that even clergymen are not exempt from its prompo'.ngs.

* *

The Trades Union Bill has provoked a good deal of sound and fury, mostly, we fancy, signifying ;nothing, in the House of Commons. When a member is sent to Parliament to represent trades unionism, he naturally does what in him lies to show his zeal for the interests—or what ho supposes are the interests —of his supporters. If ho becomes vulgar, noisy, and abusive during the process, we must remember that trades unionists have no monopoly of these engaging qualities. There were rows in the house before the Labor Party was even heard of; there will be rows when it has reached its zenith, and rows there will be when it is sinking hack into the night -as all human institutions do sooner or later. “ Out of the fullness of the heart mouth spoaketh,” whether the owner of the heart be peer or peasant. Nevertheless, it is rather depressing to read the interjections hurled across the House from the Opposition benches. One is tempted to ,say “These be thy Gods, Oh Israel.” One of the chief hecklers is Mr Jack Jones, who has had a good deal of experience. Once upon 'a time a complaint was made to the London County Council, of Which Mr Jones was a member, regarding the State of a certain road. Mr Jones, who is a contractor in private life, made a stirring speech pointing out that the roads were being mined by the motor cars of the rich, who nevertheless did not pay higher rates than others. The chairman, a wily bird, replied that he was disposed tp agree that those who damaged the roads most should pay most for the upkeep. He remarked that he had made soirie enquiry, and ascertained that the .principal traffic on the highway in question was that of Sir Jones's drays, and no doubt the council world keep the matter in mind when next assessing the rates. The views of Mr Jones, the Socialist, and those of Mr Jones, the contractor, however, differed, and nothing happened. * * * V New Zealand is floating a six million loan at 5 per cent.—News item. “Money lenders are a curse to a nation.”—Signor Mussolini. They say that a cherub still sits up aloft, To look after this:little dominion;: And, though you may think that his job should bo soft, It requires all the quills in his pinion. Above, as we know,, they are frequently slow In adopting the modern inventions ; Hence typewriters go to the place down below, Which is paved with the best ot intensions.

The worst point about us, you must understand (For a Cabinet Minister said it) Is that through the length and breadth of the land* We are living too much upon credit. When we go on a jag and wake with a head, Then the cure that we think will best fit us, Is to send out at once, e’er we rise from our bed, For a hair of the dog that just bit us.

In the days long ago, a million or so Would suffice for a time to content us; But everyone knows how the appetite grows When the boodle is readily lent us. The Dons have a proverb which just meets the case— When you go towards perdition or marriage, Choose the easiest way, the liveliest pace: Never travel in aught save a carriage. * , * * * Uncle Sam, ever to be found at the early door when “Good Works” is to be played, is to the fore again with a suggestion that the three great naval Powers —Britain, Japan, and himself—should go further in the way of cutting down their navies. He has intimated that ho would be prepared to accept the proportions of 5-5-3 in all classes of ships as a contribution towards the uplift of mankind. This is really sporting, not to say generous, of Uncle. He has frequently informed us that, unlike others whom he could name, but does not want to hurt their feelings, though everybody knows who he means, he has never gone in for relieving colored persons of their homesteads. Only the other day he said pointedly that he did not have any concessions in China., The'fact that he had obtained several, but had turned them over to the British to reclaim and police on the understanding that he could come in on equal terms after all the expenditure was finished, he overlooked. Anyone might overlook a trifle like that when using the typewriter rapidly. Having very few outside responsibilities, and occupying a country which cannot lie'blockaded and which could live in comfort indefinitely if it was blockaded, Uncle is quite willing to come down to our level. A really rigid blockade would probably starve us out in a couple of mouths, but Uncle does not offer any guarantee against such a contingency. He merely says: “Big navies are a menace to civilisation, and are no earthly use to me in any case, so let us drop them.” Altruism .■is.a- splendid thing, and when it can bo practised without risk and at someone olso’s expanse, it tends to

become magnificent. At any rate, there seems to be something magnificent about a suggestion of that nature.

* * *, *

A paragraph has been going the rounds to the effect that the Chancellor of the Exchequer, in search for means,of obtaining revenue, discovered an unrepealed law providing for penalties to be inflicted on persons who do not eat fish on Wednesdays. This authentic, if apparently purposeless, piece of legislation was passed, if we remember aright, in Elizabethan times. The idea behind it was not, as might be supposed, to popularise a varied diet for health reasons, but to encourage fisheries, and the encouragement of fishing was with an eye to the multiplication of fishermen who,-then ats now, formed excellent recruits for the Navy. The penalties were, however, unproductive in the financial sense. The usual punishment was being “ set in the stocks,” and sundry instances are recorded of this having been done. Setting a few wealthy financiers in the stocks might be an interesting revival of a medieval custom, but it would not bring in much revenue, while if Mr Churchill selected a dozen or so trades union leaders for his victims the I.L.P. would raise the Red flag and proclaim a general strike within twenty-four hours. We also fear that a fifty-fifty division would nbt be popular, either. The other day Mr Wheatley, who represents the wild men of the Clyde in the House, mentioned casually that he maintained a calm and equal mind regarding the danger to Britishers in China, as “ very few of them belonged to the working classes.” Presumably, therefore, he reserves the full treasures of his, tender and kindly heart for one class, and if even one or two members of it were placed in the stocks, the reprisals would, in the words of the late President Kruger, “ stagger humanity.” * * * . *

Oh, I don’t know how the Cid Used to manage with his lid, When he took it off to watch a tournament. Did he park it in the mire, Or consign it to a squire, Or hang it on the fly-pole of his tent?

I’ve heard that Ferdinand Used to twiddle in his hand The dressy diadem he sometimes

doffed; At informal Court levees, He would rest on . hia knees. (It clattered on tho carpet when he coughed!) They say that Buy Lopez TJsed to sport a Moorish fea When ho made hia famous opening (with the White; But he threw it on the floor, 4nd danced on it and swore, When mated by a Bishop and a

Knight. But old fashions, disappear, Like the snows of yester-year; The Primitive and Picturesque must

vanish. , Alas, the lost sombrero, . Fandango and Bolero! The Cosmopolitan absorbs the Spanish.

For the Prince has crossed the mam, And the notables of Spain Regard him as a Fashionable Para-

gon; And the things he does and says Are become the words and ways Of the Nuts of Barcelona and of

Aragon. So the Paladins and Sages , of the storied middle ages, No longer servo the Dago for a

pattern; And it’s now considered “chic” To plant one’s walking stick, And use it as a peg to hang one's hat on.