COOL CHEEK

Evening Star, Issue 19410, 19 November 1926, Page 9

COOL CHEEK

THE UNINVITED GUEST ' " INVASION "OF ENGLAND England is suffering from an epidemic of tho social infliction known cryptically as “Mr and Miss U. Guest.” Mr and Miss U. Guest are, one hastens to explain, those indelicate persons who “crash the gate” at large private entertainments to which they have not been invited. They may be roughly divided into two categories. Those who take the risk of being unceremoniously shown nut, just for the fun of the party, and those who go to it for a definite and sinister purpose, ns scouts for skilful bands of thieves. Mr Uninvited Guest is far more common than is Miss; but Miss does appear. She is more useful as a scout, for instance. Men’s cloak rooms in most big houses are on tho ground floor, the women’s are often upper bedrooms, pressed into service for the occasion—which means that the upper floors are open for inspection to the perfectly gowned female intruder. t She is always perfectly gowned, just as he is immaculately togged out. The manners and conversation of both are charming. Their fellow-guests are delighted with them. Their hostess is perfectly certain that they, are people she really ought to know, and reproaches herself for her lapse of meraorv, until other of her guests claim her attention. At least that is the way it used to go for the U. Guest family. But lately the path has been loss smooth for them. The London hostess is getting tired of their company and is taking precautions. _ .

Mrs Baldwin, wile of the Prime Minister, and naturally, therefore, one of the most .victimised of hostesses (for who is there who does not nourish a secret ambition to visit famous No. 10 Downing street?) has led the way. Recently a new rule was enforced at No. 10. Only those persons who, had actually replied to the invitations were to be admitted to any of her receptions.

A secretary with an alphabetical list of these people is now in attendance beside the footmen who open the front door, and those presenting themselves for admittance (except, of course, at the more, intimate gatherings) are checked up. Other hostesses are making obligatory the presentation, at the door, of the invitation itself. Even these measures are not too successful. Invitations are things that are frequently left lying around. Neither footman nor secretary can afford to be firm to the point of rudeness if a would-be guest is insistent; for often the most important people really do forget to bring along their cards. The IT. Guests, once they get the hand of these affairs and have the aplomb, horn of much practice, become very bold indeed. Hence the hostesses of Mayfair, 'Westminster, and Belgravia have banded themselves more closely together, and are taking determined steps to end the social careers of the interlopers. They have, in fact, organised a sort of social secret service —including themselves, their secretaries, and their butlers—for the detection of the unwelcome visitor.

People, then, like Lady Astor and Lady Londonderry, great political hostesses who entertain an immense number of persons whom they may hardly know by sight, but who know them or are associated with them in some way, were the first victims of the sensation hunter who wanted to mingle with the great,'though he knew them not. Long accounts of all their receptions are regularly published in the newspapers with the names of those present. It was tempting, inflaming to the imagination.

Perhaps a few people, uninvited, were taken at first by friends who really were invited (though practically unknown), and who were afraid of having no one to speak to in a great crush or strangers. They found out how easy it was to get admitted. Even at Lady Astor’s^where, on particularly big “ crush ” nights, it is sometimes customary for every guest to wear a little card with his or her name and pursuit on it, for tho information of fellow guests, no real investigation was made. The secretary with the cards just wrote down what she was told, and pinned it on the visitor. Later, if the visitor got scared, he simply “ lost ” his card. Undoubtedly the careers, however brief, of the few uninvited guests successful enough to “ break in ” have done more toward making hostesses take the matter seriously than spectacular burglaries themselves based upon spying done by scouts masquerading as guests could ever have done. To an Englishman the social danger is much worse than the criminal danger. Well-appointed gangs of thieves mustering smart members able to hold their own invariably had sense enough to date the burglary at some length of time from tho party at which plans and observations were made. If the burglars were caught ‘ afterward the fact would only be brought home to one family, the “burgled” one; hut in the case of the social adventurer who had moved on from spurious to genuine guestdom it was forcibly brought home to every family that had entertained and introduced the outsider.

In aqy ease London’s hostesses are now determined. Uninvited presence at famous houses will soon .he impossible. In a spasm of anxiety society is even now busy checking up on its “dark horses,” individuals whose introductions and antecedents are not well known. If some of them are found not to come “ up to scratch ” they will bo discarded immediately.

Meanwhile the more or less simple and uninteresting members of the U. Guest class who were satisfied to be just U. Guests all their lives, not aspiring to more than unauthorised glimpses of the great, with a good stand-up supper thrown in, are lamenting the fact that London is to be deprived of one more “ harmless pleasure ” 1

We. used to think we knew, But now, we must confess, The more we know we know we know, We know we know the less.

Wife: “Any luck, dear?” Unsuccessful Angler (disgustedly): “ No, none at all!” Wife: “ Then—er—would you mind coming and opening the tinned salmon?-