BY THE WAY.

Evening Star, Issue 19274, 12 June 1926, Page 2

BY THE WAY.

[By QX]

" The time has come,” the Walrus said. To talk ct many things.” A recent advertisement inviting applications for. a position in a secoud.uy school has 'an interest of its own. Among ; the qualifications required is the ability !to teach languages, “also Latin and French.” Wo wore always under too impression that the Homans had a fi.no I sonorous language of their own; m I fact, we have a distinct recollection ot .1 grammar written by one Smith, which purported to guide tho student through I its intricacies. It began by a dainty series of variations on the word I “ mensa,” a table. So far as the [ French are concerned, if they do not I possess an entire language they have at least a remarkably fine collection of irregular verbs, and it would be passing strange if they were not accompanied by the other parts of speech. On the whole, it would appear as if the framer of the advertisement would be none the worse of a short course in English. # * ti- *• OM A DREADFUL RUMOR. In the hills, in the hills, In the Hokonui hills, There the little tui trills In the Hokonui hills. And the crystal of the rills _ Down tho bushy valleys spills. And the sight of tradesmen’s hills And advertisements of pills Never fills, never fills, _ Tho artistic soul with chills In the hills; But the frigid sweat distils And I’m white about the gills— Are there stills? Are there wicked whisky stills, Are there lawless liquor stilly Are there private potheen stills, In the Hokonui hills? Does the wicked wight who swills, And extracts unholy thrills From the alcohol that grills His interior, and kills, With unmentionable ills—Does he patronise tho stills? Does he gorge bootleggers’ tills? $ the misdirected _ wills In the Hokonui' hills That erect these stealthy stills. Murder-making, moonshine stills, In the hills I ’ But—just tell me —are there stills In the Hokonui hills, In the hills? * * * «■ Is there anything in sea air which makes people quarrelsome ?_ It almost seems as if there is. It is not long since the Port Chalmers borough councillors were having a merry squabble among themselves, and this week the proceedings at the St. Kilda Council meeting were breezy, not to say squally. The worst of these suburban rows is that the outsider has very little knowleclge of what they are all # about, r Io the° casual reader of municipal reports there seems little occasion for the turmoil which so frequently brightens things up, and ho can only suspect swiftly-flowing under-currents which do not show on tho surface. In tho case of St. Kilda, one section, who would doubtless call themselves the progressives, seem anxious to raise a loan, that being one of the hallmarks of progress nowadays. The conservatives, apparently, do not actively oppose a visit to Uncle with an armful of nicely-printed debentures —they are passive registers, as it were. Unfortunately for them, time is not on their side. _ Unlike wine, roads do not improve with age, and, moreover, cannot ho maintained in good order without expenditure. The best solution of the whole matter would be for St. Kilda. to put its pride in its pockets or any other handy receptacle and amalgamate with the city. An appropriate “ slogan ” would bo: “ One mayor, one debt, one destiny. By order of the mortgagee,”

Who said that romance had fled; that life is now but a drab affair of “doing one thing after another,” as someone puts it? Why, there are things going on under our noses which would make the exploits of tho Borgias seem like the proceedings of a mothers’ meeting at Warepa. Strangely enough, few of us had any suspicions. It was left for a colonel from Canada to open our eyes. This gentleman’s rank was conferred by the Salvation Army, which, perhaps, makes him the greater authority on tho subject. After a few brief mouths in New Zealand ho discovered a vast secret society whoso aims are, as yet, not very clearly defined. Such of them as the colonel has divulged have a distinctly unmoral flavor. The initiates are apparently drug addicts, sworn to secrecy by so dreadful an oath that the dopiest dare not babbie,_ even in dire extremity. The energetic officer, however, is keeping his eye on this unregistered association, and has warned the police, whose apparently apathetic attitude doubtless veils an intense activity. We anxiously await a further communique from the firing line. Wo should not wonder if it turns out that A. and B. or even C, is mixed up in the dreadful affair. There is a fowl fancier in our street whose rooster’s alarm clock goes off at 2 a.m. four mornings a week whom wo also suspect. At least, wo hope that it may be possible to connect him with the society in some way or other. Sweet is revenge.

The French and Spanish Governments are conferring as to the future of Abdel Krira.—Cablegram. There are winding tracks where the camels go, And the date palms mark whore the well springs flow; There are secret lairs in the mountains grim. Now. none will give shelter to Abdel Krira. Many a trader in many a town Had fingered his gold ere his star went down. The profits wore heavy for merchants slim Who did not mind dealing with Abdel Krim. And many a roving and reckless lad Made straight for his camp when tho times were bad; For love of a fight, or an idle whim, They shouldered a rifle lor Abdel Krim. Patriot? Traitor? Who knows, o<who cares For a falcon caught in tho fowler’s snares P His strength and his wit have availed him not. There remains for him but the captive’s lot, And many a thought of the gladsome days When he rode, a chief, through flic desert ways, With tho desert men who had faith in him.

Here is a health to you, Abdel Kriin! » * * ' *■ The highly successful flotation of our last loan impelled Mr Coates to. make a few manly but modest remarks. “This.” said the Premier, “is God’s own country, and the-British .investor likes the security. The loan was fully subscribed within two hours, and many aged and infirm financiers were unable to get to the dooV in time. Poor follows! I must see about borrowing another five or six millions -shortly to comfort them. The Agent-General tells me that the look in their eyes was pitiable. it reminded him of _n. Shropshire lad on Ins way to execution. Al! the investors had to go upon was my photograph m our London office. Had I been there _ personally, no doubt many representatives of eminent Anglo-Isreal-ite houses would have been trampled to death in the crush.” And everybody has a warm, comfortable feeliiig inside, and says that our credit in the greatest

financial market in the world was never higher. Yet when Mr Hardup raises the wind by means of what we believe is called a chattel security, does lie feel elated? Do the neighbors say; “'What a lucky dog Hardup is! Why, ho got another fiver on the furniture yesterday.” They do not. They say: “ Poor Hardup has been to the pawnshop again. How long will he mango to keep it up?” The loan was a great and abounding success—for somebody; but the wise old birds who roost in bank board rooms gaze at the figures of our declining exports, and draw up rough drafts of confidential circulars about overdrafts, just in case they may come in handily later on. Never mind, tho system may last our day. At any rate, wo hope so.