FLASHES OF FUN

Evening Star, Issue 19274, 12 June 1926, Page 23

FLASHES OF FUN

Gussie: “ Tire dentist told me I had a largo cavity that needed filling.” Ethel: 11 l)id ho recommend any special course of study?” * * * * “What chance has a woman of getting married ? ” the club cynic was asked. “Well,” ho replied, "if sho is pretty, good; if shs is wealthy, decidedly good; hut if sho is determined, the poor man doesn’t stand an earthly.” * * * * Two Irish women wore discussing the death of, a mutual friend. Said one: “What, did he die of?” Said the other: “Gangrene.” “Well, thank Hivin for the color,” said tho first. Giles: “Let me tell you, young man, that I’m eighty years old today, and I don’t over remember having told a lie.” Tho Young Man: “ Well, you can’t expect your memory to bo very good at your ago.” » ■» ■» * “So you’ve quarrelled with Charley Brown. What was tho cause, if I may ask?” “Ho proposed to mo again last night.” “Where was the harm in that?” “ Well. I had accepted him tho night before.” Shop Assistant: “And will one collar be sufficient, madam?” Mrs Higgins; “Do you insinorvate, young man, as I ’ave moro than one ’usbin?” « » # # Brown: “The giraffe is said to ho the only animal in Nature that is entirely dumb, not being able to express itself by any sound.” Smith: “Its just ns well; for if it could speak, it would talk over everybody’s head.” * * » e “Jack, here’s tho half-crown I borrowed from you last week.” “Great Scott, Tom, I’d forgotten all about it! ” “ Hang it, why on earth didn’t you say bo?” a » » » “Excuse me, but it seems to me that I must have met you before. Are you not a brother or a near relative of Major Gibbs?” “No, I am Major Gihhs_ himself.” “Ah’ indeed, that explains the ref markable resemblance.” * •* * » Sunday School Teacher: “Then all the people fell down before tho king. What does that show?” Bright Child: “That the king could stand" his liquor better’ll any of them.” «• * * * The teacher explained to tho class about the sun and its doings. “ What I can’t understand, miss,” said ono youngster, impressed by the story of millions of miles distance from tho earth, “is how the sun’s light manages to get here so early in tho morning without travelling at night ” * * * *—- » “ I’m not going to play with Jiram. anv more.” “What’s the matter? I thought you liked Jimmy.” “So I did, mum, but he punched me on tho nose when my back was : turned.” »#* « I An Irishman who had just arrived in New York was taking his first walk under the escort of his brother, who had been living there several years. In the window of a shop he saw a great mound of fresh cranberries, “What are thim?” he asked. “Thim is cranberries,” said his brother. “ Are they fit to eat? “Are they fit to eat?” repeated his brother.' “ Why, whin thim cranberries is stewed, they make better apple sauce than prunes does.”