A WEDDING IN TIBET

Evening Star, Issue 19272, 10 June 1926, Page 12

A WEDDING IN TIBET

TEDIOUS CEREMONIES EXPERIENCES OF A BRITISH GUEST Marriage in Tilfet is not tho least interesting of tho institutions of that remarkable country. As a rule it takes place only in families possessed of wealth and social position. According to the laws of Tibet, the eldest brother has the prior right to marry, since he inherits the ancestral property. But if there are brothers the wife is shared j by them as by so many junior husbands, 'lire children are regarded as those of the elder brother.-the others being considered as “ uncles.” As a result of the tedious ceremonies, writes “A Guest,” in the ‘Manchester Guardian,’' Jong toms of waiting, and troublesome conditions, formal marriage does not tako place among the majority of people. When a young man comes of marriagable ago (which in Tibet is, as a rule, between 20 and 25 years for either sex) his parents look about for a suitable bride. Having found one, with regard to her family’s social standing, wealth, and so forth, as more or loss equivalent to their own, the negotiations aro put into the hands of an agent or go-between. He approaches the girl’s parents, who, if they are disposed to agree, first of all consult the family priest, fortune teller, or astrologer. The verdict of theso worthies being favorable, they acquaint the gobetween. The parents or both parties again consult tho sooth-sayers as to an auspicious day. The day is fixed some considerable time ahead, ns there must he a series of farewell banquets given _ for the daughter by her parents. Friends and relatives bring presents to these gatherings, which are kept going for two or three weeks or even longer, with much eating, drinking, dancing, and general jollity. The bride receives new dresses and ornaments, among them presents and ornaments from the bridegroom and his family. A CORDIAL WELCOME. I had an opportunity of witnessing tho marriage or a somewhat important Tibetan official on _ the principal day I after theso preliminaries were over. The presence of a European added a novelty to tho proceedings, and the largo party gathered at the bridegroom’s house made me cordially welcome. Whether the bridegroom had any brothers I do not know. Although an invited guest, I though that perhaps lit might not bo etiquette to ask. i The house was decorated with flags | and many-colored hunting and flowers. All were dressed in their best, magnificently embroidered silken clothing, which made my plain English suit appear quite sombre. The Indies wmre elaborate triangular headdresses, gorgeous with gold, turquoise, coral, pearls, and even more expensive jewels,_ which I have no doubt were quite genuine. At an appointed time the wedding guests, relatives, and friends of the bridegroom, mounted on ponies, set off on the road to meet the bride. We were a very jolly party, and the joviality increased at each halting place. Of these six had been prenared beforehand, with plenty of refreshments, liquid and other. The jolliest member present was a stout old _ lama, who nearly fell off his pony with laughter at his own jokes, which unfortunately for fortunately! 1 did not understand. Three of these halts had been prepared by tho bridegroom’s relatives, and three Iby the bride’s. We met the other party midway, which is tho proper thing to do. The bride was mounted on a gaily caparisoned steed, her bond and face being covered by a thick vein, i Tho two parties now joined, and we i returned the way we had come, a very gorgeous 'cavalcade indeed, with a whole retinue of servants wearing headdresses something like largo colored lamp shades. When we arrived at the bridegroom’s house we found the gates sjmt and barred. Outside stood a sentinel armed with a javelin made of flour, butter, and water baked hard. He assumed a hostile attitude, and threatened us with this weapon. Finally ho threw it at the bride and fled, nimbly avoiding the efforts made to , capture him. Had he been caught he ’ would have bad to pay a forfeit. However, he regained the gates, which were opened sufficiently to admit him, when i they were again shut and barred. There followed an argument between those within and the party without, who explained their errand. A scarf was waved, as a sign of surrender, from the house, and the gates were opened. .The bridegroom’s mother came out with sour milk and cakes, a portion being given to each of us. THE BANQUET. A long and ceremonious banquet foli lowed, but having previously had quite j enough J was unable to do justice to | it. The others did; indeed, their capai city for food seemed to be limitless. ■ But by the end of it the stout old i lama was quite overcome, and fell fast . asleep. After this a priest conducted I n ceremony before the bride and bride- : groom, who then met for the first time. : As preparations were being made for i further feasting, and most of the male ' guests were becoming hilarious, I found j an opportunity to take my leave whilst I was still in a condition to find my I way back in the dark, several miles to the dak bungalow where I was staying. There was to he music, and some kind : of a dancing display, which 1 was sorry | to miss, but it was just as well. | _ The curious feature of theso marriages is the utmost secrecy preserved I by the parents on either side as to who their son or daughter is to marry. It 1 may happen that they have not even I seen each other until they meet on this J occasion. _ Tho result is that divorces ; are not infrequent, and, indeed, an i agreement is actually made at the time j of the marriage that either may divorce I the other if not compatible. Divorce is simple in Tibet, for all that is necesi sary is that the couple shall agree to ■ part. Among tho gifts of the bride- | groom is a jewelled head ornament, which is worn bv the bride high up at I the back of her liair. Tho husband has ! but to take this away from her, or she ! to hand it back to him, to make the ; divorce complete.

It might bo supposed that this curious arrangement would lend to jealousies and quarrels, but this docs not appear to be the case; or that a wife, having several husbands to please, would have a difficult time of it. On the contrary, the Tibetan woman is very much the head of the household. The men must bring their earnings or account for them to her. When they want money thov must ask her for it. A husband who is idle, or who does not earn ns much as she thinks he should, is liable to be reprimanded or even divorced and driven away. Tibetan women are, as a rule, thrifty, and their husbands must do their bidding. Seldom does a manned man undertake any enterprise or conclude any business _ without first consulting his wife. Occasionally it may be that a man of forceful or truculent character may dominate a household. With one woman and several men opposed to him, he has need of these qualities.