DUNMOW FLITCH

Evening Star, Issue 19004, 28 July 1925, Page 3

DUNMOW FLITCH

HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLES COMEDY AT TRIAL. The Dumnow Flitch trial, held at Ilford, Essex, with the strictest possible observance of the rights and ceremonies evolved since the days of King John, attracted “ wonder” couples, who claimed tho bacon because, they alleged that for “ a year and a day they had neither quarrelled nor repented of marriage.” Only three couples faced the jury of spinsters and bachelors, and nearly three hours wore spout in hearing their claims. Mr G. K. Chesterton, wearing a fullbottomed wig and red robs, mada an admirable judge. HENRY VIII. NEVER WON IT. Skipping a lengthy historical survey, the judge said ho could find no trace of Henry VIII. having been awarded the Flitch. “ despite the pertinacity with which he pursued l his ideal of wedded bliss through many experiments. I have a profound admiration for Charles IT., but it would be affectation to pretend that he figured in tho court as one of tho recipients,” continued his lordship. “ Queen. Elizabeth, of course, was ruled out.” Nowadays it appeared that domestic infelicity and quarrelling wore rewarded very handsomely, proceeded the judge. Prominent figures in loading divorce and othercases- were generally made film actors or actresses or were engaged to write a novel. “I don’t know what evidence those persons give for a capacity of fiction, excepting the witness box,” ho added. After sll, mused the judge, a cheque today might not ho worth its face value. A Hitch of bacon was Ihe most simple and useful form of economic wealth and well worth striving for. At the conclusion of his speech an usher pushed in front of tho judge a bottle of water. NINE BONNY CHILDREN. The first case taken was that of Mr and Mrs Waring. They appeared with nine bonny children, the youngest in the wife's arms. Claimant said ho was A 4. was a publisher and author, and lived at Craven. Gardens, Wimbledon. After he had spoken with much conviction and hum or of\his happiness, he was asked if Chesterton was his favorite author. TMia T\7T»w ic* avJnv> ? /T,aiktli.

Tu© Judge; Who is Chestertonr (Eaugnter.) Counsel for the Fliteh : You say you are fond of children. Why have you not more of them? Claimant; There is such a thing as a time limit. (Laughter.) Another of Mr Waring’s remarks was: Income tax is no trouble to a largo family. I think tho Government owe mo a bit. Mr and Mrs Clarry entered Iho witness box smiling confidently. They did not bring their three children. Asked the inevitable question as to Ids favorite authors. Mr I Clarry said that Charles Reade was amongst them. Ho liked his ‘Cloister and the Hearth.’ His preference was for the hearth. SAW A THOUSAND LADIES’. His wife had helped him greatly in speaking and canvassing and in comforting him generally in his political career. They had never quarrelled. Ho admitted, however damaging it might sound, that last year a thousand ladies came to see him (sensation in court). But he explained they all arrived in ono parly and came from his constituency. Counsel: Your wife was not with them? —No. Dill she make any remark or complaint? —Yes, she said she was sorry she could not bo with them. Claimant admitted that ho sat beside Lady Aster in the House of Commons. Was your wife aware of that?—l told her everything. (Loud laughter.) Mr and Mrs Nixon, “ Staffonlia,” Hatfield, St. Albans, wore next hoard. Claimant said he was a railway dork, end completely and .beautifully happy with his wife. Victor Hugo was Lis favorite author. Mr Grove: Did not Hugo write: “A. man married once enters heaven ox-officio; a man married twice is refused admission, U'c.msa there is no room for lunatics?” (Laughter.) Claimant said Hint in tho ease of his wife and himself (heir hearts beat as one. 'Mr Grove: Then you two must feel very lonely. (Laughter.) THE JURY’S FINDINGS. After a. lengthy retirement the foreman of the jury announced that one of tho members was standing out against tho other eleven. The Lady in (he Minority; They arc an obstinate lot, and 1 shall not change my mind. (Laughter.) Counsel having agreed that ihe decision should' lx> by a majority, the foreman announced that in the case of My and. Mrs Waring they found for the claimants. In regard to 'Mr and l Mrs Clarry they found for the Flitch with a strong recommendation that the mercy of the court should be extended. (Laughter.) Mr and Mrs Nixon wore also unsuccessful. It was afterwards stated that the donor of the Flitch bad agreed to add another, and the second one would be equally divided among the unsuccessful claimants. After a mock pquahbl© among' counsel over the costs, the trial concluded.