FLASHES OF FUN

Evening Star, Issue 18256, 21 April 1923, Page 11

FLASHES OF FUN

Teacher (at grammar lessen) : “‘ I didn’t have no fun at the seaside.’ How would you correct this, Johnny?” Johnny; “Get a sweetheart.”, * « # * Actor (touring in small town); “The people here don’t understand art. I’ll bo hanged if I ever act here again!” •Manager : “ No—shot, more likely.” * * * * “ Why have Scotsmen a sense of humor ? ! ’ "Because it’s a gift.” I Mrs fsaacstein was rocking the baby’s cradle and singing : “ By-low, baby, bylow ; by-low, baby, by-low ” “ Dot vas right, Hebocea,” said her spouse. “ You teach him to buy low, and ; I’ll teach him to sell high.” 1 >■ {> « •» | “ I can’t understand why yon call I Simpkins stupid. He often says a clover I thing.” j “ That’s the trouble. He doesn’t scenr to realise that it should bo said only once.” ■ # * * * I Hodson : "Do you believe there is safety in numbers?” Speeder ; “ Sure of it. Whenever I’m exceeding the speed limit, 1 bang some other chap’s number on the back of my car.” * * * # A, young curate was dining at a famIwuse one Sunday, and when his plate of roast chicken was handed to him .is said, facetiously : Vim, is where the chicken enters tho ministry!” •• Wc-l, 1 hone it will do better there ‘ than it did in lay work,” observed the . host. i * # * * | "In the far corner,” said the guide, ■ “ lies William the. Conqueror. Behind the I organ, where you can’t see ’em, are the tnoma o’ Guy Fawkes, Robin ’Ood, and Cardinal Wolsey. Now, does that .guide . book which I see you ’avo in your ’and I tell you who is lyin’ ’ere, sir?” ! Sceptical Visitor: “ No, but I can ’ guess.” . * * * * ■ It was during the rush hour, and tho Brixton ’buses were crowded. “One on top, one inside!” shouted the bus conductor at a stopping place. “Oh, you wouldn’t separate a mother from her daughter, would you?” said the elder of two women on the pavement. I “ You’re right, ma’am, I wouldn’t ! again,” said tho conductor, starting the bus. “ I did it once, and I’ve been regretting it ever since!” |»» « * The American soldier was up before I the disability board. Tho pompous alienist was asking him a long string of ques- ; tions to determine his mental condition, ! and Buddy was rapidly getting disgusted. “Quick,” shouted tho celebrated doc, “ bell me this: How many legs has a lobster?” Buddy looked at him crushmgly before replying. “ For tho luwa ?vlike, he said is that all you got to worry j about?’’—The ‘American Legion Weekly.’

Bix ; “ Two wrongs don’t make a light, and to that ride there’s no exception.” Dix; ‘‘Oh, I don’t know. If your clock is an hour fast, it is wrong, ami if you set it forward eleven hours more, vou of course make it wronger, _ the same time you make it right. ‘ Boston Transcript.’