COURTESY

Evening Star, Issue 17328, 16 April 1920, Page 7

COURTESY

[By F.O.M.] Make thee my knight? My knights are sworn* to tows Of utter hardihood, utter gentleness.. And, loving, alter faithfulness in love, And uttermost obedience. Thus spoke Arthur, he of the Bound Table, when Qareth' .craved the boon to be allowed to join that great company of knights 6worn to truth, to right the wrong, to brave deeds; whose watchword was courtesy; whose gentleness of manner was equalled by their bravery; whose justice'of-thought and style, refinement in manners, good breeding, and politeness came from the trial and experience of what is best and true in life. Their story, recorded in the literature of the centuries, has been an inspiration to poet an 4 peasant, king and cottager. Ana Gareth's deeds—are thev not chronicled in Tennyson's ' Idylls o-l the King' ? The greater the man the greater 'the courtesy. Let 113 then also quote Spemer. who thus tells tJie tale of Calidore : But 'mongst them nil was none mora courteous knight Than Calidore, beloved over all, In whom it s&emes that gentlenesse of sp right •' And manners mylde were planted naturall; To which he, adding comely guize wethall And gracious speech, did steale men's hearts away 5 Na'thlease thereto he was full stout end tall, And well approved in batteilous affray, That him did much renowne and far I his fame display.

**»*■*#* That was a thousand years ago. By the unrolling of Time, civilisation has gone on apace. Have courtesy and good manners gone hand in hand* with this growth? Have they even held their own? Suppose thae knights of Arthur returned to-day, how would they view pre3ent-day manners? The reflection causes one to think. Can you imagine them standing watching a bill tramcar filling up at one of the rush hours ; many of the men jostl> lj; an ! pushing aside ' the women, securing the best seats, puffing smoke into their neighbors' faces, spreading out their knees and elbows, and generally asserting their "rights." Or think of them watching a theatre crowd at the late ticket box or attending a modern election meeting, or But, why stress the point. -In spito of the fact that they were idealists, in spite oi the fact that romance may have somewhat clouded the strict letter cf historical fact, those old tales of knightly valor and gentleness may yet teach men and women of the twentieth century that politeness is the flower of humanity. » * * * * * # •» » Let us then take one or two aspects of life in which courtesy and good breeding could, if generally practised, alter the tone of our national life to something fairer and more incomparably beautiful than the majority know or appreciate. The start must be made in the home. For there is a great danger that the home life, the first unit in the chain of national greatness, is losing its charm, its power. Home to many is increasingly becoming simply a place to sleep in and a convenience for occasional meals; it is losing its grip on our _ lives. Those who cry " Give the people relaxation," " Keep the young people off the streets," '■ Give them clubs, social rooms, associations/' and all the rest of it, do they reflect that they, too, are tending to dra-v the people from home life,, the purest and best of all institutions, the home of which Burns writes:

" From scenes like these old Scotia's grandeur springs ' i That makes her loved at home, revered abroad. Princes and lords are but the breath of kings ; An honest man's the noblest work of God." Happiness can be condensed in the humblest home. A cottage will hold as much happiness as the greatest palace. Bnt to be happy, to possess equanimity and composure, home must be a place of repose, of cheerfulness, of comfort, 01' those small acts of courtesy which renew and revive the soul so that it can go forth with fresh vigor to encounter the labor and trials of life. If in the home you find, no rest and there exists, ■ discontent or constant complaint, then indeed there is no outward prosperity that will balance the uxihappiness caused. Genus has its triumph, fame it* glories, wealth its splendor, success its bright rewards ; bat the heart only hath its home. Home only! What more needeth the heart? A true home is more than the world, more than honor, and pride and fortune. Second only in importance to the home is the school or college for inculcating courtesy and good manners to the young. Our educational system concerns itself ven-dee-ply in a syllabus chock-full of what Scott is pleased to call erudition. We would that more time be devoted to the making of gentlemen. For it is a deplorable fact that many of the scholars attending our echools are not -possessed of the rudiments of courtesy or good breeding. Bv "gentlemen" we do not mean those ir.sufl'eTable snobs who mispronounce the King's English in the endeavor to cultivate style, or who look down their nosps at their poorer brethren. We. ni'jnn those whose natural courtesy of manners, as expressed by politeness, obedience, and small sacrifices for others, causes them to stand in distinguished relief from the crowd. But only too often we find children rude and "cheeky," thinking nothing of breaking in on their elders' convention. A French lad visiting New Zealand once told us how he stood aghast when at a social evening in a private home he heard the daughter of the house tell her father to " 'hut up." The primary cause was, of course, the lack of proper parental control and teaching in the home.' What can one exuect!

The mischief Is not so much apparent when the child is at school. There, he is under discipline and restraint. It is after the period of adolescence, when he lias left school and is, as he thinks, " beginning to find himself " that the trouble, unchecked in his earlier and most susceptible years, finds expression. The youth of 16, when ho leaves school, is a fine healthy young animal. Then follows the years, the most potent for good or harm, until he reaches the age of discretion, usually in the early twenties, when he can be trusted to think and act for himself. After leaving school restraint passes more or less from him : the physical drill and discipline which kept his body and mind free from taint is, in too many cases, entirely neglected. As a rule he earns and gets far too much money to spend for his own good. Y 0 l uniarv technical education and compulsory military drill have done something—indeed, a great deal—but they do not go far enough. The young degenerate is all too much in evidence, his spare time spent in lounging around parks or street corners. a limp figure with a limp " fag" hanging out of a drooping lip. And tW remedy? Simply this : Compulsory technical or other advanced and certainly compulsory physical trainimj, together with a constant inculcation of those moral principles which should start in the home, but which should also continue throughout, all school or college life until the age of 21 at least. * * *****

A few months ago ' launch' had a drawing of two shopkeepers standing at thsir re?pective doorways conversing. "Seen this bit in the paper?" says No. 1. the British _ tradesmen about promptness and civility and consideration for customers' requirements." " Why den't they turn us into a pack o' crawlin' 'Uns straight away," says No. 2, "and 'a-done with it?" An old proverb hath it " Faber est quisque fortunse sura" (every man is the architect of his own fortune), but how many fail to realise'what an asset courtesy is in the framing of their fortunes. To those shopkeepers we mention, courtesy or civility meant, as they thought, servility. In their eyes it is rather de-

grading to show civility.. " I'm a free born Britisher, I am, and I'm goin' to have my fights"; and to " jolly well show you he means what he says" he is oftt'imes very rude. The laboring or working man, deserving aa he is to all consideration, could have doubled his representation in the present Parliament if ho had been brought to realise that in courtesy it is better to pay a penny too much than too little. Cervantes says that •nothing costs less or is cheaper than courtesy,- and the successful business man has found that out long ago. But what do we too often And in business. Tho other day we walked into a fruit shop to buy some bananas. They were wanted for a party, and we mildly suggested that the ones shown tis were cather black in the skin. " Well," says the surly shopman, "you don't eat tho skin." Exit. If every customer that goes into a shop' receives there the kind of treatment that will bring 'him back again, that shop is going to be a huge suc-cess. So we move from the .home, the school, the business to the daily life; and we cannot do bettor than quote an old anonymous winter of many years ago: Nothing can more fitly eerve as a comparison in small things of our progress through life than the daily walk in the crowded streets. Suppose two men about to proceed through these thoroughfares. Tkeone a self-willed, rude, or obstinate man, resolved to make his way in defiance of tho throng, straight to his destined moving along with arms akimbo. Many would doubtless give way and let the rude passenger go by; some would return his discourtesy with a jostle and thrust as they passed; whilst others, more irascible or sensitive to such injuries, „would resent his .conduct, demand explanation or apology, and his injudieioiia outset would end in an altercation and perhaps an arrest. But at the very time he set out on his unwise course his more prudent companion has been passing through the same thoroughfare. Hero he gently gives way; there he threads his course sideways through an unusually crowded spot, or pauses for a secorfc till another passes on. Thus he glides through the crowd like a steamer through a river, and reaches his goal without the sense of any unusual obstruction; while his companion, jostled, fretted, irritated, and perchance injured, will be ready to affirm that the very same thoroughfare was crowded with bullies, and that a general conspiracy had seemed organised against his progress. Just so it is in the journey of life. Wa meet men with irascible tempers and uncomplaint dispositions, who have been fighting all their days with difficulties of their own raising, and rendering success impossible by tlveir own ungentle ways; while other's with much less talent achieve success, fully as much by their courteous mode of transacting business as by their ability.

In all walks of life one is always open to the application of the principle of the beam_ and the mote, especially all those who in their weak endeavor try to bring forward any truth -which, rests on a deep moral foundation. Ah! well, although we are only human, life is- not so short, but there is always time for courtesy.