ON MELBOURNE TRAM

Evening Star, Issue 17312, 27 March 1920, Page 8

ON MELBOURNE TRAM

DURING "LAZY" STRIKE. "You can't stand there!" It was a little conductor who 6poke. The crowd had waited impatiently for nearly 10 minutes before a car had arrived. Now they were storming the footboards and pressing in the gangways. For things like, that, you know, must be during a " lazy strike," when lazy cars driven by lazy motormen and run by lazy conductors arrive at the terminus at blissfully irregular intervals. " You can't stand there!" Three men wearing returned soldiers' badges had got up to give their seats to two old women and a young mother with a baby. Now they were standing on the platform, thereby contravening one of the by-laws which are so rigidly interpreted by the conductors these days. " Here, you,"" repeated tho little conductor; "you can't stand there —you'll have to get off and get the next car. 5 ' ' His voice was hopeful, but not optimistic. The soldiers three grinned broadly, and maintained their position along the whole front. "It's no use standing there"— the conductor's voice was almost a wail—"we won't start till you got off." No movement from'the soldiers. "Aw get a move on!" came a hoarse voice from inside the car. The little conductor and the motorman had a hurried consultation, the tram boll clanged indignantly, and under strict protest the car moved on? on its way. But it was a lazy way. Every time it stopped there was a brief interval to review the position. Did a passenger get off the car, conductor and motormun watched his progress to the pavement with fascinated interest. Once he had made safety the motorman heaved a sigh of relief, and "carried on." Did a woman enter the car, the conductor of the tram gazed at her intently until she sat down, much as the conductor of an orchestra watches a late-comer making for her scat before ho begins on the next section of the programme. A crossing afforded an excellent opportunity for more " deeds of frightfulness " —or rather of laziness. Another tram, was approaching in the distance, so tho little conductor walked along to tho points for a consultation with his brother-striker from the other car. They remained, wrapped in conversation for . some time—perhaps they were evolving new tactics, perhaps they were discussing the merits of Macadam and the demerits of Menin. The little conductor cama back, had a muttered word with the motor driver, and then strolled back to the points. Polite fellow! He was evidently persuading his brother to go first. One coald almost imagine him saying, "After you, my dear Alphonse," in the manner of the .frenchman in the comic papers. " But I pray you to go first, my dear Gaston," insists the conductor of the other tramcar. The little conductor bows to tho inevitable, waves a languid hand, the motorman takes a cautious look round to see that nobody has decided to jump oft at the eleventh hour, and the car moves forward at a snail's pace. Very gingerly it crosses the points, bump—bump—bump—bump. It moves as carefully as a traction engine testing a new bridge. At last the crisis is past, and the motorman smiles tho smile- of, him who knows that danger ig behind him. After about £0 yards hj« even consents to speed up a little. [' Argus.]